Chapter 2: Why Love Is Painful
It is painful, but don’t avoid it. If you avoid it you have avoided the greatest opportunity to grow. Go into it, suffer love, because through the suffering comes great ecstasy. Yes, there is agony, but out of the agony, ecstasy is born. Yes, you will have to die as an ego, but if you can die as an ego, you will be born as God, as a buddha. And love will give you the first tongue-tip-taste of Tao, of Sufism, of Zen. Love will give you the first proof that God is, that life is not meaningless.
The people who say life is meaningless are the people who have not known love. All that they are saying is that their life has missed love.
Let there be pain, let there be suffering. Go through the dark night, and you will reach to a beautiful sunrise. It is only in the womb of the dark night that the sun evolves. It is only through the dark night that the morning comes.
My whole approach here is that of love. I teach only love and only love and nothing else. You can forget about God; that is just an empty word. You can forget about prayers because they are only rituals imposed by others on you. Love is the natural prayer, not imposed by anybody. You are born with it. Love is the true God - not the God of theologians, but the God of Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, the God of the Sufis. Love is a tariqa, a method, to kill you as a separate individual and to help you become the infinite. Disappear as a dewdrop and become the ocean, but you will have to pass through the door of love.
And certainly when one starts disappearing like a dewdrop, and one has lived long as a dewdrop, it hurts, because one has been thinking, “I am this, and now this is going. I am dying.” You are not dying, but only an illusion is dying. You have become identified with the illusion, true, but the illusion is still an illusion. And only when the illusion is gone will you be able to see who you are. And that revelation brings you to the ultimate peak of joy, bliss, celebration.
The second question:
Did the real master Jesus, the one beyond all the Christian distortions, to whom I once opened my heart, did he send me to you?
All the way back this time, tentative and unsure, I come to you. I would hold this mala and look at your picture and you would say to me, using Jesus’ words, “Come unto me ye who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest, for my yoke is easy and my burden light.”
I was surprised by such happiness to be before you in darshan and was transported by the eternal now of your presence. Yet underneath somewhere I have held back. I have a bitter hatred towards false teachers and have been afraid to be duped again.
I come cluttered with my fear, doubt, pride, rebellion, guilt and wrath which erupts even at you. I come with the hard growth you have fostered in me.
Osho, I long to trust and surrender, somehow knowing it is the best way for coming home totally, to you, to myself, to Jesus, to the universe.
Alok, neither have I spoken to you nor has Jesus. It is only your Christian conditioning. You don’t know a thing about Jesus - you can’t know.