Chapter 2: Gratitude Is the Only Prayer
It is the same situation with the mind - a scientific approach to the mind will make it clear. The closer you come to the master in deep love, in an incredible pull, your biological mind - which is thousands of years old - immediately creates an anti-pull as a protection, as a defense: you are moving towards a danger. Because of the danger of your personality’s death, the mind immediately pulls back.
You always keep a little distance from people you love. You can come very close to the person you don’t love. There is no fear, because there is no question of merging or melting. You can come close to your enemy without any problem, because you are not going to melt into the enemy. You can rub shoulders with the enemy without any fear. But with the friend, mind always keeps a little distance. Coming too close is risky. You may not be able to get back again into your old personality. And in fact, the risk is real.
So when you ask me, “With this incredible pull, can one really go astray?” - just because of this incredible pull, one may go astray. Just to avoid it, one may take a different route. So if somebody is clear about it, the missing can be avoided.
As far as I know, neither did Jesus ever say to his disciples that it is possible to miss, nor did Mahavira, nor did Gautam Buddha. They all took it for granted that those who have come to them, have come to them. But I see deeper into the nature of man, and even their disciples prove what I am proposing.
Jesus had never thought even in his dreams that Judas would sell him for thirty silver pieces - almost impossible. He loved the man so much. And Judas loved him so much. That’s why after twenty-four hours Judas felt so repentant that the only way he saw to get out of this guilt was to commit suicide. To go on living with this guilt was more difficult than committing suicide. He also could not believe it. He loved Jesus so much.how could he have done such a thing?
But the whole psychology of man has not been explored. Because it has not been fully explored there are corners, dark corners, which you go on forgetting. You simply remain attentive to the lighted spots of love and trust, and you forget completely that there are corners and nooks in your being where there is no light, no love, no trust. They are also part of you. And in a strange way, they are more powerful than your love and your trust.
On what grounds can I say that? I say it on a very fundamental ground - because your love is spent, your trust is spent, but your dark spots are unspent. Their whole energy is gathering. They are the antibodies against your love, against your trust. They are your doubts, they are your distrust, they are your hate, and they are accumulating.
You go on sharing your love, you go on sharing your trust. What about your hate, what about your distrust, what about your doubt? These go on accumulating. Naturally, these phenomena are the phenomena of darkness. So they hide in dark corners in your being, just waiting for the chance when they can take revenge with full vengeance.