Chapter 28: You Can Only Be Yourself and Nothing Else
He used to say, before India became independent, that he would like to live for one hundred and twenty-five years, because after independence there would be real life; right now, what was life? But as the country became independent, and the whole country was on fire - violence everywhere, destruction everywhere.even his own followers, intimate followers, were no longer listening to him - he said for the first time, “Now I don’t want to live one hundred and twenty-five years.” Perhaps when Nathuram Godse shot him, he felt relieved, because he was carrying a burden. He could not show his face to people; there was no answer.
The same was the situation facing Moses. He went into the mountains just to be out of the crowd, because they were continuously torturing him, asking him, “Where is the promised land? We don’t see any promised land. Days pass, we don’t come across an oasis. People are dying of thirst, and whenever we come across an oasis, it is not easy to get food either”.because they were all poor people, they had no money, they were slaves. They were not paid, and whatsoever they had brought.small things. That caravan of Moses is worth remembering.. What had people carried with them? Somebody was bringing his donkey, somebody was bringing a cart, somebody was carrying a few earthen pots, a few clothes. There was nothing valuable. They had nothing. And on the way they sold whatsoever they had brought with them; these small things they sold for bread.
Moses must have been in terrible pain. Nobody has thought about it. I have never come across a Jewish book pondering over the situation of Moses. He went into the mountains, not to meditate - that is a great luxury; Moses could not afford it, and that was not the time to meditate - he had gone just to avoid this crowd, and sit for a time to think out a plan. Something had to be done, otherwise he would be responsible for this whole race dying. And he had promised them..
And remember always, this is how the human mind works: when you start promising, you forget that there is a limit, don’t exaggerate. Mind is very easily able to exaggerate. It enjoys exaggerating. It magnifies things both ways. Just a little pain and it makes so much fuss about it. Just a little suffering and it becomes the greatest suffering in the world. Just a little pleasure and you are on top of the whole world(nobody else knows what pleasure is. You fall in love with a woman and you think, “Never before has such a love happened, and never again is it going to happen. This is unique.” This is happening everywhere, and everybody is thinking it: “This is unique!” Mind exaggerates everything, magnifies - it is a magnifier - and you believe it.
Moses’ people were really in trouble. It was not a question of magnifying. And there was a limit to giving them consolation: “Wait just a little more - we are coming closer, coming closer..” It seemed as if they were going farther and farther away; there seemed to be no signs of coming closer.