Chapter 2: Choice and Choicelessness
If you really listen, just through listening questions will disappear. And whenever one day it happens that in your mind there is not a single question, that is the point when you can say: I know nothing.
You will not even know enough to ask a question because to ask a question is to know something. How can you ask a question without knowing anything? Even to ask a question a certain knowledge is needed, otherwise how will you ask? If you ask, “Who is God? What is God?” at least you know something about God, otherwise the question cannot arise. A child cannot suddenly ask, “Where is God?” No, first he has to learn that God is, that God created the world; then through this learning the question will arise. Questions are not out of ignorance; questions are out of knowledge. When questions drop, you have the infinity of ignorance, a dark night, beautiful, velvet-like, infinite. You are in it, dissolved as completely as a drop in the ocean. Then you feel my presence. Knowledge is the barrier.
And you say that you are not interested in my response - then you are destroying the very bridge; then you will not be able to feel my presence - that will become impossible. First you have to allow me to kill all that you know, to destroy it, to demolish something that has gone wrong within you. Only then can I be creative. Presence is a creative phenomenon. My answers are just destructive, they are to destroy something. They are to rediscover your ignorance and with it, the infinity. If you can become totally ignorant you have taken the first step to becoming totally wise.
Totality is the bridge. If you are totally ignorant, then totality has already happened, and totality is the bridge. Then from ignorance to reach to wisdom is not much of a problem, the bridge is open, the bridge is ready. So be total. At this moment you can be total only in ignorance - the next happening will be to be total in wisdom. But you go on clinging with small bits of knowledge.
Don’t try to be clever with me. Be sincere. If you are ignorant, then be ignorant, and you will touch my presence, you will enter me and you will allow me to enter you. But if you are not capable of feeling my presence then try first to feel my response; then let me demolish you, destroy you, for the creative explosion to happen.
The fourth question:
I no longer have the desire to do anything. Nothing seems to matter to me anymore. Life is so much effort: the body requires food and suffers constant physical discomfort. The ego wants attention, the mind continues its constant movement. I often think about how nice it would be to die. Is committing suicide just an escape from life? Is there any reason why one should not commit suicide?