Chapter 26: Acceptance of the Peaks and the Valleys
Whatsoever you have built in the name of religion, morality, culture, is a phony structure that is above ground - just a false facade. Underground the real man is hiding. So your animal is not very far away; your facade is just skin-deep. Someone insults you, and the gentleman disappears and the animal comes out. The gentleman is just skin-deep; the volcano is just near. Any moment it can be brought out, and when it comes out, your intelligence, your morality, your religion, your so-called being above animal things, simply disappear. When the real asserts, the false disappears. Only when the real goes back underground does the false come again.
When you are angry, where is your mind, where is your consciousness, where is your morality? Where are your vows that you have taken so many times - that “Now I am not going to be angry again?” When anger comes they all simply disappear. When anger has moved again to its cave, its underground cave, you start repenting. Those phony fellows have gathered again. They start talking, condemning, and planning for the future, and again in the future the same will happen; when anger will come the shadows will disappear.
Your consciousness right now is just a shadow. It is not a real thing; it has no substance in it. You can take a vow of brahmacharya, of celibacy - it makes no difference to your sex instinct. The sex instinct simply goes underground, and when it comes up, your vows of brahmacharya, of celibacy, will prove to be made of just very dream-like stuff. They cannot face the real thing.
So these are the two attitudes. You can either suppress sex - then you will never go beyond it - or you can use your sex energy in a creative way. Not saying no to it, but giving it a deep yes; not forcing it to go underground, but creating a structure above ground with it. Then you will be a real man. It will be difficult, obviously; that is why we choose the easier path. It is easier to have a false structure, because nothing is needed. Only one thing is needed: to deceive yourself, that is all. If you can deceive yourself, you can create a false structure very easily. Nothing will change really, but you will go on thinking that everything has changed.
This is easy, to create an illusion. To create a reality is a difficult task, it is arduous. But it is worthwhile, because once you have created something with real energies, your structure cannot be shattered. If sex is above ground, then you can create something out of it - for example, love. If sex is transformed, it becomes love; if it is suppressed, it becomes hatred.
You become afraid of love if you suppress sex. A person who has suppressed sex will always be afraid of love, because the moment love comes sex will follow. Love is of the soul and sex is of the body, so love cannot be allowed to happen because then sex will follow. It will be just somewhere near, by the corner. So a person who has suppressed sex cannot be loving. He may show it, he may pretend that he is very loving, but he cannot be because he is so afraid. He cannot touch you with a loving hand because the fear is there. The loving hand can any moment turn out to be a sexual touch, so he will be afraid; he will not allow you to touch him.
He may create many justifications for it but the real thing is fear - fear of the instinct which he has repressed. And he will be filled with hatred, because any energy that is repressed reverses itself and goes to its original nature.