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Chapter 15: Session 15

I was just a little bit concerned about Devageet, feeling as if I had hurt him. Perhaps I had done it.perhaps it was needed. So don’t worry about my sleep. If something is needed, I am always ready to lose my life at any moment. Not for any national cause, not for any state, nor any race, but for any individual, for anyone whose heart still beats, who still feels, and is capable of all childish things. Remember, I am saying “childish things”.I mean one who is still a child. I am ready to give my life if he can grow, mature, and become integrated. Whenever I use the word integration, I always mean intelligence plus love; that is equal to integration.

Now, this has been a long footnote - if George Bernard Shaw can be forgiven, and not only forgiven but given a Nobel Prize, then you can forgive me too. And I don’t ask for a Nobel Prize. Even if they gave me the prize, I would refuse it. It is not for me. It is too full of blood.

The money given with the Nobel Prize is soaked in blood, because the man, Nobel, was a manufacturer of bombs. He earned his immeasurable money in the First World War selling arms to both camps. I would not even like to touch his money. In fact I have not touched money for many years, because I don’t have to. Somebody always takes care of money for me - and money is always dirty, not only Nobel Prize money.

The man who founded the Nobel Prize was really feeling guilty, and just to get rid of his guilt he founded the Nobel Prize. It was a good gesture, but only like killing a man and then saying to him, “Sorry, sir, please excuse me.” I would not accept that blood money.

George Bernard Shaw was not only respected but given a Nobel Prize, and his small books have such long introductions that you wonder whether the book was written for the introduction, or the introduction for the book. As far as I can see the book was written for the introduction, and that’s what I appreciate.

So this has been a long introductory note. Don’t be worried about my sleep, but remember not to get disturbed if I am hard. Although you know, and everybody knows, that nothing can make any change in me, many things can certainly change in my body and even my mind. Of course I am neither my body nor my mind, but I have to function through them.

Right now I can see that my lips are dry; now, that much can be done by anything from the outside. I am speaking, but the dry lips are creating trouble. I will manage, but they are a hindrance. Devageet, you can help - do your trick. That will be a good break from this introductory note and then I can start. Thank you.. Now the story.

Death is not the end but only the culmination of one’s whole life, a climax. It is not that you are finished but you are transported to another body. That is what the Easterners call “the wheel.” It goes on turning and turning. Yes, it can be stopped, but the way to stop it is not when you are dying.

That is one of the lessons, the greatest lesson I learned from my grandfather’s death. He was crying, with tears in his eyes, and asking us to stop the wheel. We were at a loss what to do: how to stop the wheel?

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