Chapter 3: You Are Here to Be Yourself
You eat an apple from a tree - it was outer, then it becomes inner. Then one day you will die and you will fall into the earth and an apple tree will arise on you. And something of you will become the apple, and your grandchildren may eat it. We are all cannibals: we are eating each other. There is no other way to be here. When you eat an apple be respectful.you may be eating your grandfather or grandmother.
Nothing is outer, nothing is inner. Inner and outer are just ways of describing the same thing. To see it is to go beyond imagination.
Sometimes I feel that all my inner journey is only imagination.
It is, but right now all is imagination. In fact, journey, as such, is always outer. There can’t be any inner journey. How can there be inner journey? Going anywhere is always going out. When the journey ends then the inner begins. You may be coming closer to the inner, but the journey remains outer. “Journey” means you are trying to connect yourself with the distant. The inner is not distant, it is exactly what you are. You are already connected with it, there is no need to connect, there is no path to connect you to it. That’s why Zen people say that truth is a pathless reality: you don’t go anywhere, then you are in. When you don’t go anywhere the inner has happened.
But I can understand Padma Sambhava’s difficulty too. I myself go on saying to you “Start the inner journey”. I have to use words, you have to use words, and all words are inadequate. And if you go on stretching a word to its extreme, logical end, it becomes absurd. They have to be used only in a hypothetical way. They have to be used in a utilitarian sense.
When I use the words “inner journey”, I simply mean that you have looked at one aspect of the journey in your life called “outer”, now try to look at another aspect of the journey called “inner”. You have been running after money, now run after meditation. You have been running after power, now run after God. Both are running. Once you start running after meditation then one day I will tell you, “Now drop meditation too. Now stop running.” And when you stop running then real meditation happens.
the spring comes
and the grass grows by itself.
So meditation has two meanings. That’s why in India we have two words for it: dhyana and samadhi. dhyana means the temporary meditation, arbitrary meditation; samadhi means you have come home, now meditation is not needed. When even meditation is not needed, one is in meditation - never before it. When one simply lives in meditation, walks in meditation, sleeps in meditation, when meditation is just one’s way of being, then one has arrived.