Chapter 14: The Tug of War
And it is not that I don’t want to help you. There is no other reason why I am here. My work is complete, nothing is going to happen to me if I live twenty years, thirty, forty or a hundred years or a thousand years. All that had to happen has happened. Time has disappeared for me ( and so has the so-called life disappeared.
I am in this body so that you can see me. Even in the body very few can see; when I am not in the body, those who can see me will become even rarer. But you don’t cooperate. And you go on misinterpreting me.
For example, just two days ago a French sannyasin told me that she was confused, that she could not decide whether to go back or to stay a little longer. I looked into her.something would be possible if she could stay a little longer, maybe four to six weeks. She would have taken a great step towards satori. But if I had said to her, “Be here for four to six weeks because something is going to happen,” then my very prediction would have prevented it because then she would have become greedy, then she would have started expecting. And not only that, she would have started demanding “Why is it not happening?” And that very idea: “Why is it not happening? When is it going to happen?” would have created a tension in her being and the happening would have become impossible.
So I cannot predict it, because the very prediction will change the whole situation. I cannot say directly, “Remain here for four to six weeks, something is going to happen” - that is not possible; nothing will happen. Even if I say, “Be here for four to six weeks, it will be good for you,” a subtle desire may start in her being, a subtle hope. No, I cannot say anything to her directly, I have to be very indirect.
So I told her, “Be here for a few weeks” - she is a group leader - “run two or three groups here.” That had nothing to do with her own growth; I did not say anything directly about her own growth. She agreed, but I was watching and saw that the agreement was only fifty percent, not more than that. Just.just enough to stay. There was no joy in it; there was no happiness in it, that I had asked her to stay. She could not feel the gift and the blessing. Because the joy was not there, the possibility was cut almost to half.
Now that which was going to happen could happen only in a celebration. Now she would have been here, but not really here. She would have been here because I said so. Now almost fifty percent of the possibility for the happening had disappeared.
Then yesterday morning I said that if you want to do something, even if it goes against me you need not feel guilty. She suddenly felt joy. She left! Now there was no need to feel guilty - it was as if she was just waiting for something to be said. And although I had particularly said to her to stay she didn’t even wait to ask me, she didn’t even inform me. She simply left. She said to people, “Osho said that if you do something even against his advice, you need not feel guilty. So why should I feel guilty? I am going.”