Chapter 13: You Are More than You Think
There is only one way to be free from the I and that is to come to know the I so deeply that it appears to be a shadow, and at that very moment you are freed of it. That is why people practicing humbleness can never reach to thou.
Humility is a refined form of the ego. The more refined it is, the more dangerous it is, and subtle too. That is why the ego of a person we call humble, virtuous, increases in him and peeps out every moment. Humility is an ornament of the ego, the most beautiful ornament ego can wear. Humility is a beautiful mask which the ego can display.
Humility is never straightforward. In fact, when the ego has no mask it is more simple and straightforward than humility. Bad men are more genuine and clear than good men because bad men are straightforward egoists, while good men are indirect egoists. Their ego is behind many layers - very refined, polished. An ordinary man’s ego is unpolished and uncut like a raw diamond, whereas the so-called good man’s ego is like a cut diamond - cut and polished, shining. It has a good shine, a brightness, but the sparkle in the ego is a poison. Whether you polish your ego or hide it or avoid it or try to escape from it, you are not freed from it. Come to know your ego, go within and recognize what this ego is. So don’t be in a rush, don’t make any judgments.
We make the mistake in our lives of making judgments before we have the experience, and we begin from those judgments. We are like children solving sums, who first look at the answers in the back of the book and then start from there. Then they never learn the method - why should they? They already have the answers. Then what need is there to learn methods?
But this answer in the last pages of the book is not your answer, it is borrowed, it will not transform your life. Someone who does not learn the method and does not draw his own conclusions lives a borrowed life, and all of your conclusions are borrowed.
You read in the scriptures that the ego is bad. This conclusion is not yours - it is in the scriptures. You don’t even know what this ego is; whether it is good or bad can be decided on later. You are unacquainted with what it is, you have not had even a glimpse of what it is but you will still have a conclusion about it.
‘Anger is bad’ is a conclusion taken from the scriptures. From the scriptures you come to know everything that is good and bad, but still you remain the same as you are, even though you appear to know everything.
People come to me and say that they know all this, there is nothing which they do not know - but now transformation has become more difficult because they think they know everything. They have borrowed this knowledge, now there is no room to learn and therefore there is no possibility of transformation.
So keep this sutra in mind: knowledge which does not transform you is borrowed. Your conclusions are not yours because your knowledge is not your own, it is not your experience. It is all stale, dead and rotten.