Chapter 37: Behind the Drama, a Witness
I used to live by the side of a post office and every morning very early, when it was almost dark, I used to go for a walk. One day I saw a small boy with a mustache - I could not believe it.
I said, “This is something impossible!” The boy started hiding behind trees, but I followed him and got hold of him. He said, “Don’t tell anybody.”
I asked, “But why are you having this false mustache.?”
He said, “I would love to grow up. I have got a cigarette also. When I see people with a mustache and a beard and having cigarettes, I feel so sad. How long is it going to take, this miserable boyhood? Nobody takes any notice of me, but if I start doing anything, everybody stops me saying, ‘you are still a child; don’t do that!’ I cannot even ask questions because I am a child - ‘When you will grow up you will know.’“
Then I realized that he was the postmaster’s son. He said, “Don’t tell my father; otherwise I am going to be given a good lesson. He beats me.”
I have known thousands of children and I have inquired of them, “Are you feeling great that you are a child?” They were all feeling miserable about being still a child; yet these same children in their old age will remember their childhood as really golden. They will make it golden.
You are saying that outside your boyfriend was so juicy. If he was so juicy, why have you come here? People start thinking of meditation if their life is not juicy. If their life is already juicy, who bothers about meditation and God and truth?
I don’t think that you have ever known anything juicy; it is an ego fulfillment to exaggerate your past. And if you know how to make a relationship juicy.. Here there are many people from the same outside world. They have not come from other planets; they have also lived very juicy lives outside. But it seems strange: the moment they come here all their juiciness disappears; because here my insistence is to be sincere with yourself - don’t deceive. Outside they were deceiving.
You are saying “.and seemed to be the only way to stay alive.” Then have you come here to commit suicide? If that was the only way to be alive and you think it was so juicy, what accident happened? Did your ship get wrecked, and you landed in this desert? Just stop exaggerating - that is a childish approach towards life.
Look at things straight, as they are. Nobody leaves juicy places. One gets so caught because juicy places are sticky too; there is not much juice but there is much glue. So whenever you have a juicy relationship, in fact it is nothing but a very glued relationship. You can call glue “juice,” that is another thing. Only the words differ, but the reality will be the same.