Chapter 8: The Great Palace of Consciousness
Don’t say, “I am feeling fear.” That is a wrong way of saying it. Don’t say, “I am afraid.” That also is a wrong way of saying it. Simply say, “I am fear. In this moment I am fear.” Don’t create any division.
When you say, “I am feeling fear” you are keeping yourself separate from the feeling. You are there somewhere far away, and the feeling is around you. This is the basic disunity. Say, “I am fear.” And watch - that’s actually the case! When the fear is there, you are fear.
It is not that sometimes you feel love. When love is really there, you are love. And when anger is there, you are anger. This is what Krishnamurti means when he says again and again, “The observer is the observed.” The seer is the seen and the experiencer is the experience. Don’t create this division of subject and object. This is the root cause of all misery, of all split.
Thus, one must not judge good or bad. One must not label or have any kind of desire or goal in regard to what arises in consciousness. There must be no sense of avoidance, resistance, condemnation, justification, distortion or attachment in regard to what arises, but only a choiceless awareness, and self-communion is established.
A choiceless awareness - that is the ultimate key to open the innermost mystery of your being. Don’t say it is good, don’t say it is bad. When you say something is good, attachment arises, attraction arises. When you say something is bad, repulsion arises. Fear is fear - neither good nor bad. Don’t evaluate, just let it be. Let it be so.
When you are there without condemnation and justification, then in that choiceless awareness all psychological pain simply evaporates as dewdrops in the early morning sun. And left behind is a pure space, left behind is virgin space.
This is the one, the Tao, or you can call it godliness. This one that is left behind when all pain disappears, when you are not divided in any way, when the observer has become the observed, this is the experience of godliness, samadhi or whatever you will.
And in this state there is no self as such because there is no observer, controller, judger. One is only that which arises and changes from moment to moment. Some moments it may be elation, other moments it may be sadness, tenderness, destructiveness, fear, loneliness, et cetera.
One shouldn’t say, “I am sad,” or “I have sadness,” but “I am sadness” - because the first two statements imply a self separate from that which is. In reality there is no other self to whom the particular feeling is happening. There is only the feeling itself. Meditate over it - there is only the feeling itself.
There is no Ashoka feeling fear; Ashoka is fear in a certain moment. In certain other moments Ashoka is not fear, but Ashoka is not separate from the moment, from that which is arising. There is only the feeling itself. Thus, nothing can be done about what is experientially arising in the moment. There is nobody else to do anything.