Chapter 28: Be a Joke unto Yourself
If you are detached you cannot know beauty. Beauty is known only when you fall en rapport, when the observer becomes the observed, when there is no wall between, when every wall has been transformed into a bridge. When there is a kind of melting, when you become the flower and the flower becomes you, then there is a totally different kind of knowing - the way a poet knows. He will know beauty; he will not know the chemicals. He will not know the objective flower; he will know something far deeper. He will know the spirituality of the flower, the spirit of the flower.
And the mystic, his knowing is the highest form of poetic knowing, the ultimate form of poetic knowing. The poet is only there for moments. Sometimes he is a poet, he meets, he mingles, merges into the flower; sometimes he becomes a detached observer. Hence poetry is a kind of mixture of both types of knowledge.
The scientific knowledge is purely objective, the mystical knowing is purely subjective, the poetic knowing is between the two, a mixture of both: a little bit of science, a little bit of religion. But basic knowing can be divided in two, the scientific and the mystic. Now it depends on you, in what way you want to know me.
You say, “My feelings tell me that until I know you I can’t trust you.” These are not feelings - there you are misunderstanding yourself. These are thoughts; these cannot be feelings - that’s a sheer misunderstanding. This is the way thoughts speak. Thoughts always say, “Be careful, cautious, move logically” - and of course this is very logical: how can you trust me if you don’t know me? It is a logical statement. It is not a statement from your gut level; it cannot be, because gut feelings are very illogical. Gut feelings will say to you the same as I am saying: trust and you will know.
So the first thing to be said is: these are not your feelings, these are your thoughts. Watch again, go into these so-called feelings again, and you will find they are not coming from the heart; they are coming from the head. The head says, “First know, then trust.”
And this is a great strategy, if you believe in the head and its dictation. “First know, then you can trust,” - then you will never trust, because knowing cannot happen without trust, mystical knowing cannot happen without trust. Scientific knowing is possible, but scientific knowing is not applicable here.
You can know me scientifically. Sometimes my doctor comes to examine my body; he knows me in a certain way. You don’t know me in that way, you know me in a totally different way. My doctor is afraid to come to listen to me, because he does not want to lose a patient. If he listens to me, then I will be the doctor and he will be the patient! He comes and he is in a hurry to escape.
Once it happened that he was holding my hand - I had some trouble with my thumb - and something happened to him which was not scientific. Outside the room, he told Vivek, “He is God, he is God!” - but since then I have not seen him, he has simply disappeared. Something nonscientific, something which was not of the head. He felt me for a moment but became frightened.