Chapter 3: Grow Real Roses
That’s my idea how all children should grow. Then there will be no ugly religious conflicts, wars, bloodshed, no ugly fanaticism, no fascist ideologies in the world. These are all byproducts of the family, and the family depends on marriage. In fact, if the family disappears, nations will have to disappear, religions will disappear, states will disappear, churches will disappear. That’s why nations, churches, everybody is in favor of marriage and they all go on praising marriage as if it is something holy, something divine. It is the ugliest thing on the earth! And they go on telling people, “Without marriage, where will children get love?” They will get more love; nobody is going to prevent their parents from loving them, but they will be available to others, too. They will not be dependent, they will start learning independence. From the very beginning they will have a certain new feel of freedom. And that’s what is needed.
The whole of human history has been full of religious wars for the simple reason that everybody becomes conditioned, and once you are conditioned it is very difficult to uncondition you. I know the difficulty because that’s my while work here - to uncondition you. It takes months, years; and you struggle hard, you resist in every possible way because your conditioning means your ego.
You ask me, “What is the secret of remaining happy and married?”
I don’t know! Nobody has ever known. Why would Jesus have remained unmarried if he had known the secret? He knew the secret of the kingdom of God, but he did not know the secret of remaining happy in marriage. He remained unmarried. Mahavira, Lao Tzu Chuang Tzu, they all remained unmarried for the simple reason that there is no secret; otherwise these people would have discovered it. They could discover the ultimate - marriage is not such a big thing, it is very shallow - they even fathomed God, but they could not fathom marriage.
Socrates got married and he suffered his whole life. He did not discover through marriage the secret of remaining happy; he simply discovered that it would have been better if he had not got married. But in Greece there had never been such incidents as Jesus, Lao Tzu - Jesus had yet to come, five hundred years after Socrates. Socrates was a contemporary of Lao Tzu, Mahavira, but he knew nothing about them because the world in those days had no communication. So whatsoever was conventional happened in his life.
Mohammed married not one woman, he married nine women! Many times I have been asked, “What about Mohammed?” I know the secret of Mohammed but I don’t know the secret of remaining happy in marriage. If you have nine women they will fight amongst themselves and you will be free! Mohammed managed it and he has said to his followers, “Marry at least four women.” So Mohammedans are allowed to marry four women. Four women are enough to fight amongst themselves and the husband will be spared.
Krishna did the best: he married sixteen thousand women! Now it is very easy to get lost. Sixteen thousand women.who will notice Krishna, where he has gone, where he is? There will be so much noise and fight, and in that cloudy, smoky atmosphere Krishna can escape anywhere. He can even sit in the middle of it and meditate and nobody will bother about him! They will all be concerned about each other’s saris and each other’s ornaments.
Buddha got married, but then he escaped. He had a beautiful wife, Yashodhara, but he escaped. He came back home only when he became enlightened, after twelve years. Yes, if you are enlightened then you can be happy anywhere, even in marriage, but no enlightened person has been known to get married after enlightenment.