Chapter 9: Possessing Nothing, Wanting Nothing
Looking at yourself it will be difficult to believe, looking at your life it will be difficult for you yourself to believe that you can ever be mature, that you can ever be a master, that you can ever say about yourself: Possessing nothing, wanting nothing. You are always wanting. People are so ridiculous that if they become convinced about wanting nothing, then they start wanting this state of wanting nothing. But it is the same game; now the desire has come from the back door.
I have heard:
After Beethoven finished his joyous Fourth Symphony he went through a dry period. Inspiration left him, his imagination went blank and he could compose no new music. This was too much for his restless energy and he fell to drinking at the local taverns where he often wound up in bar fights or went off with whores.
One night, after losing a bar fight and being rejected by the cheapest whore in town, Beethoven sat spending his last pennies on cheap wine. As he was the last customer in the empty tavern, the bartender came over to him and said, “Hey, buddy, you are always causing trouble around here. What do you do for a living anyway?”
Beethoven looked up, his face bruised, his lip bleeding, and said through clenched teeth, “I am a composer.”
The bartender said, “You, a composer?! Ha-ha-ha - Ha!”
That’s how the Fifth Symphony was born!
Looking at you it is very difficult to believe that you are buddhas - bruised face, bleeding lips, even rejected by the cheapest whore, drinking cheap wine. Who will believe that you are a buddha? But I believe it! And not only do I believe it. I know it.
Just something is needed to trigger it. Just something is needed to wake you up.
Beethoven went home and again the inspiration was back, again the sources were flowing.
The master cannot do anything directly, but he can push you, pull you in indirect ways, to help you to see the point. Once seen it becomes yours and unless it becomes yours it is of no use, it is of no meaning, it has no validity.
You are so unaware of yourself. That’s why you are running after money, power, prestige. Become a little more aware of who you are. Give a little more attention to yourself.
Lukowski went to the bank to cash a check. Since Lukowski had no account at the bank, the clerk asked if he could identify himself.
“Say,” asked Lukowski, “is there a mirror around here?”
“Yes,” said the teller, “on the post beside you.”
Lukowski glanced in the mirror and heaved a sigh of relief. “Yeah,” he said, “it is me all right.”