Chapter 6: I Am Enough Alone
The first question - the question is from Somendra:
What happens to my voice when you speak to me? What is the game?
When you are really in communion with me you cannot speak. When you are really listening to me you will lose your voice, because in that moment I am your voice. The communion that happens between me and you is not between two persons. It is not a discussion, it is not a debate, it is not an argument, it is not even a dialogue. The communion happens only when you are lost, when you are not there. At the highest peak it is not even an “I-thou” relationship. It is not a relationship at all. I am not, and there comes a moment to you also when you are not. In that moment two zeros disappear into each other.
That’s why, Somendra, whenever you come to me, you lose your voice. And it is not happening only to you, it is happening to all those who are really coming closer to me. How can you come closer to me and still keep your voice? How can you be near me and still be yourself? Your voice is the voice of you. When the “you” starts disappearing, naturally the voice also starts disappearing.
Secondly, there is nothing to say. When you are in love with me you know that if there is something to say, I will know. And if I don’t know it, then it is not worth saying, then it is not needed; then it must be some irrelevant, vagrant thought. It has no need even to be uttered, it will be a sheer wastage of energy.
The mind goes on catching a thousand and one thoughts from everywhere, from all sources. All your thoughts are not yours; thoughts go on jumping from one head into another; even without talking, even without being conveyed, thoughts are continuously jumping from one head to another head. You catch hold of them, and for a moment you are possessed by the thought and you think it is something essential. When you come to me, suddenly those thoughts that you have caught from others disappear.
It happens to many sannyasins. They come ready with many questions, and then, just sitting in front of me, they are at a loss; those questions have disappeared. It is significant, meaningful. It shows that those questions were not yours, they were not truly yours. When you are in front of me - really in front of me - when you are looking at me, only that which is essential will be left; the nonessential will go. Sometimes all your thoughts can disappear: not only do you lose your voice, you lose your mind too. And that is the only way to be around a master. Go on losing your mind. Hang loose, relaxed, untense. There is nothing to say. There is much to listen to but there is nothing to say.
And then, thirdly, everything is going so well with Somendra. We only say things when things are not going well. I have heard..