Chapter 20: Only an Egoist Can Be Humble
They have not come for that. They were attracted by Jesus’ proclamation that he is the messenger, the prophet, the son. And a fisherman is asking, “What will be my place in paradise?” A fisherman has no place in this world. He is trying to console himself; he is trying to believe that Jesus is the son of God, because on that belief depends his ego. Without Jesus being the only begotten son of God, he is only a fisherman. But if Jesus is the son of God, and the fisherman is by his side, naturally he becomes extraordinary, the most superior person possible. He has bypassed all the rabbis, all the saints, all the prophets, all the priests. This is the inner functioning of their mind.
You can be with me only if you don’t have such idiotic ideas about yourself. To me, being a fisherman is far better than being a stupid apostle. And who cares about God? He is not even a fisherman, he is not even a carpenter - who cares to be on his right side or left side? In the first place he does not exist, so there is no left, no right.
You can be with me for a simple reason only.
They were doing business. They were all Jews, and it was a good bargain. Just to hang around this crazy man and then to gain all the glories of heaven - it was a good bargain!
With me, you have only to lose; you cannot gain anything. You are in a game where you can only be a loser. You will have to lose your ego, you will have to lose your jealousy, you will have to lose your fear. You will have to lose all kinds of crap that you are filled with. You will have to be empty - and emptiness cannot claim the ego. There is no place in emptiness, in nothingness, for the ego. You can be with me, not for anything that is going to be profitable in the future; you can be here only for this moment.
I do not promise you anything. All your prophets and messiahs and avataras have been lying - because all their promises are simple lies and nothing else. They have been befooling you, cheating you, exploiting you, knowing your weakness. This is your weakness: the ego. Anybody can exploit you, he just has to make your ego a little bigger.
In India, we have a proverb, “In time of need one has to call a donkey ‘Daddy.’” Knowing perfectly well that he is a donkey, in time of need you have to call him Daddy. Of course the donkey feels great. It is a mutual phenomenon: you are calling him Daddy for your profit, and he is readily available because nobody has ever called him Daddy. Everybody has been, up to now, calling him donkey.
I was expelled from one of my colleges. I have been expelled many times, but this time it was very difficult for me to get into another college. The city I was living in had almost twenty colleges, but now everybody was aware that it was better not to let me in, because I made expulsion difficult, almost impossible. And the trouble was that I was always right! All their expulsions were absolutely wrong, and they accepted it.
The principles told me, “We are sorry, and we know that you are right, but what can we do? It is difficult, we are in a great fix.” Once, a professor who had been in the college for thirty years, one of the most important professors of the college, known all over India, had written a letter: “Either this student should not remain in the college, or accept my resignation. We both cannot be in the college together.”