Chapter 27: Love Is Not Something to Get, Love Is Something to Give
Mulla Nasruddin had gone with his wife to see a movie. In the movie, the hero kisses the heroine very tenderly, and the wife nudges Mulla Nasruddin.”You never do that.”
Mulla Nasruddin said, “Don’t disturb me. That woman is not his wife.”
But Nasruddin’s wife said, “You are wrong! I know the couple; the woman is the wife of the hero.”
Mulla Nasruddin said, “My God, then he’s really an actor! Only an actor can do that. I am not an actor, you just forgive me. If it is his wife.I was thinking it must be somebody else. I can also kiss somebody else’s wife, but kissing one’s own wife? This must be the greatest actor we have in our country.”
You will have to change the meaning of love. It is not something that you are trying to get from the other. And this has been the whole history of love - everybody is trying to get it from the other, as much as possible. Both are trying to get, and naturally, nobody is getting anything.
Love is not something to get.
Love is something to give.
But you can give only when you have it. Do you have love in you? Have you ever asked this question? Sitting silently, have you ever observed? Do you have any love energy to give?
You don’t have; neither has anybody else. Then you get caught in a love relationship. Both are pretenders, pretending that they are going to give you the very paradise. Both are trying to convince each other that “Once you get married to me, a thousand Arabian nights will be forgotten - our nights, our days will all be golden.”
But you don’t know that you don’t have anything to give. All these things you are saying just to get. And the other is doing the same. Once you are married, then there is going to be trouble because both will be waiting for a thousand Arabian nights and not even an Indian night is happening!
Then there is an anger, a rage which slowly, slowly becomes poisonous.
Love turning into hate is a very simple phenomenon, because everyone feels betrayed. You show one face at the beach, in the movie hall, on the dance floor. It is perfectly okay for half an hour or one hour - sitting on the beach, holding each other’s hands, dreaming about the beautiful life that is ahead of you. But once you are married, all that you have been expecting, dreaming, will start evaporating.
I have heard of one couple. They were entering a hotel with their suitcases, with the labels saying “Just Married.” They were on their honeymoon. The man immediately went to the bed and covered himself with the blanket. The wife went into the bathroom to prepare for sleep.
The man said, “Please, put the lights off. I cannot sleep with lights on.”
She said, “It is only a question of five minutes. I am coming, and then I will put them off.”