Chapter 5: Character Kills
The greater includes the smaller, the smaller cannot include the greater. Your father, your mother, your children, your wife, will be there - not as your mother, as your father, as your wife, but as gods. In fact, you have not taken anything away from them. On the contrary, you have given something to them. Before, they were ordinary human beings; now they will be divine. Your renunciation has not destroyed anything. On the contrary, it has revealed much. Lose the small so that you can gain the whole, and that small will be regained again, in greater glory.
But in the beginning it will seem that you are moving away from love, because the love of the family, the love of the country is the only love you know. And it is a false love - because unless the love includes the whole it can never be satisfactory, because love is vast and can only be fulfilled by the vast.
Unless you love the divine, you will love in vain: your love will create frustrations, it will never give you contentment - because love needs such a vast phenomenon to fill it that only God can do that. No father, no mother, no wife, no children, no sister, no brother, no friend can do that - unless God comes to you as a father, or your father appears to you to be a god, unless the wife becomes the whole, or the whole becomes the wife, you will not be fulfilled.
That’s why there is so much misery because of love. You love the part and you expect the whole. That’s the misery. You love the small and you want the great. It cannot be fulfilled; hence, frustration.
Whenever you fall in love with a man, you expect something divine. Every lover expects it. And when it is not delivered you are hurt and you feel you have been cheated. Then the misery of love arises.
Expectations are great and the reality is very tiny. You expect from the wrong sources: you want a small stream to become the ocean. It cannot, it is helpless. When your eyes are open to the reality, and the dream disappears and the honeymoon is over.a small, tiny stream, and you were thinking of the ocean! Now you are fallen, frustrated, wounded deeply in the heart.
Love wounds because you expect the whole from the part. And this is the only love that you know. This love is not exactly love; it is attachment. There is a greater love, which arises only when your eyes are open to the vast, to the infinite, to the divine.
When Jesus says “hate” he simply says: “Whatsoever your love is, is worth nothing. Move to the opposite, move to the other extreme. Drop all this nonsense that you call love. It is not love. It may be fear - fear of loneliness - but it is not a sharing of being. It is a game of the ego, and love cannot be a game of the ego. Drop all this - and by dropping all this, tremendous possibilities open.”
First, if you drop all so-called love - the love of the father, the mother, the brother, the sister, the family, the wife - if you really drop it, suddenly your identity will be lost. Who will exist then, who will be you then? If somebody asks you right now, you say, “I am somebody’s son, somebody’s brother, somebody’s husband, somebody’s father. This is my religion. This is my country. This is the group I belong to.” You have something to say about yourself.
Think. If you belong to no country, you belong to no sect, no church, no denomination; you have cut all bonds from your family - father, mother, wife - you are absolutely alone.. Who are you then? How will you say who you are?