Chapter 9: Deaf, Dumb, and Blind
You see a dying man, what can you do? You see a crippled child, what can you do? Just the other day one sannyasin came to me and he said he was very much disturbed, because on the road when he was passing a truck almost killed a dog. The dog was already not in good shape; two legs must have been crushed before. With only two legs the dog was trying to live, and then this truck again crushed him. The sannyasin took pity, felt compassion, he took the dog in his hands - and then he saw there was a hole in its back and millions of worms. He wanted to help, but how to help? And he became so disturbed that he couldn’t sleep; he had nightmares and continuously the dog was haunting him: “I have not done anything - I have to do something. But what to do?” The idea came to his mind to kill the dog because that was the only thing that could be done now. With so many worms, maggots, the dog could not live. And its life would be misery, so it was better to kill it. But to kill - wouldn’t that be violence? Wouldn’t that be murder? Wouldn’t that be a karma? So what to do? You cannot help. Then the best way is to be insensitive.
There are dogs and there are trucks, and things go on happening, you go on your way, you don’t look around. It is dangerous to look, so you never use your eyes one hundred percent - scientists say only two percent. Ninety-eight percent, you close your eyes. Ninety-eight percent, you close your ears - you don’t listen to everything that is happening all around. Ninety-eight percent you don’t live.
Have you ever observed how you always feel fear whenever you are in a love relationship or whenever love stays? Suddenly a fear takes over, because whenever you love a person you surrender to the person. And surrendering to a person is dangerous because the other may hurt you. Your protection is down. You don’t have any armor. Whenever you love you are open and vulnerable, and who knows, how to believe in the other?.because the other is a stranger. You may have known the other for many years but that makes no difference. You don’t even know yourself, how can you know the other? The other is a stranger. And to allow the other to enter into your intimate life means to allow him to hurt you.
People have become afraid of love; it is better to go to a prostitute than to have a beloved. It is better to have a wife than to have a beloved, because a wife is an institution. Your wife cannot hurt you more because you never loved her. It was arranged: your father and mother and the astrologer.everybody was involved except you. It is an arrangement, a social arrangement. Not much is involved. You take care of her, you arrange for her food and shelter. She takes care; she arranges the house, the food, she looks after the children - it is an arrangement, a business-like thing. Love is dangerous, it is not a business, it is not a bargain. You give power to the other person in love, complete power over you. The fear: the other is a stranger and who knows.? Whenever you trust anybody, fear grips.
People come to me and they say, “We surrender to you,” but I know they cannot. It is almost impossible. They have never loved, how can they surrender? They are speaking without knowing what they are saying. They are almost asleep. They are talking in their sleep, they don’t mean it, because surrender means that if I say, “Go on top of the hill and jump!” you cannot say no. Surrender means total power has been given to the other: how can you give that?
Surrender is just like love. That’s why I say only lovers can become sannyasins - because they know a little of how to surrender. Love is the first step towards the divine, surrender is the last. And two steps is the whole journey.