Chapter 21: I Have Come Again - the Storm Has Persuaded Me
Please accept our apology for our behavior last night. We ask for your forgiveness from the bottom of our hearts.
Last evening I had my first experience of death. Your answer to the beautiful question put before you had taken me so deep within, so high, that by the time I realized what was happening - you were gone.
Oh most precious and most beloved Master - you have told us to be here only if it is top priority. Your presence makes the Buddha Hall into our temple.
You have told us how J. Krishnamurti died with the regret that he had only been an entertainment to his people. How shamefully we take you - your love, your grace, your compassion, your being with us - for granted.
We must hurt you again and again and again.
Osho, please forgive us?
Zareen, it was not your fault. It was my fault, because I have loved you too much. I had not kept a distance between me and you. That’s why it became possible for a few people to misbehave. They did not hurt me, they hurt you all. Otherwise there was no need, because you can see - a bigger storm has come and there is no need to laugh.
In fact it gives you an opportunity to be more silent. If you cannot be silent when there is storm and darkness, your silence is not true. It is only a question of looking at things in a right way. The storm is so beautiful, so fresh, is bringing you news of a constantly changing life. The old leaves are dropping, without making any fuss about it, to make way for the new leaves to come. The very dropping of the old leaves.if watchfully, consciously understood, you have understood the secret of relaxation. The dead leaf does not cling to the tree, neither the tree clings to the dead leaf; they depart peacefully, in silence. They loved, they lived, and it is now time to depart.
As far as I am concerned, just as the storm has come again, I have come again. I was not going to come, it is the storm that persuaded me: “I am going again - you will be missed.”
Hundreds of letters just like Zareen’s have come to me. And many more people must have been sad and with tears. But I have felt your sadness, your tears.
I wanted you to know that I am not an old-style Zen master, but I also hit - in my own way, more sophisticated. I also destroy your clingings, your egos; I also destroy your taking me for granted, because one day suddenly I will be gone, just like the storm will be gone. Before I am gone, I would like you to blossom into the biggest roses possible.