Chapter 11: Free and Alive
It is not a question of food - food is simply symptomatic. So I will not say anything about food - about dieting or doing anything - because that won’t help you, you won’t succeed. You can try a thousand and one ways; that won’t help. Rather, I will say forget about food, go on eating as much as you want.
Start a life of love, fall in love, find somebody who you can love, and immediately you will see you are not eating so much. Have you watched? - If you are happy you don’t eat too much. If you are sad you eat too much. People think that when they are happy they eat too much, but that is absolute nonsense. A happy person feels so fulfilled that he feels no space inside. An unhappy man goes on throwing food into himself.
So I won’t touch on food at all.and you continue as you are, but find a lover.
But I have a lover.. And I still eat. It started when I left here two years ago. I went back to Canada, and I started to feel I wanted to eat things that I didn’t eat in India..
The lover is a man.
That won’t help much, that cannot become the real thing, because both energies are the same. It cannot give you a deep fulfillment - at the most it remains masturbatory. A woman is needed. It is as if you are trying to be reborn from a man.
But you are born out of a woman, and deep inside the unconscious you carry an image of a woman, not a man. And unless you find a woman with whom you can be in the same deep love as you were with your mother, into whom you can again enter as you were in the womb of your mother, you will not be fulfilled. You are deceived; homosexuality will not help. It can give you a certain comfort - but it is false.
To fit perfectly a man needs a woman, a woman needs a man. They are polar opposites, and that polarity is needed. It is just as if you are trying to create electricity without polar opposites, without positive and negative. Sex is a deep function of bio-electricity. You are an electrical phenomenon, a woman is an electrical phenomenon. She is negative, you are positive; she is passive, you are active. When the active energy meets with the passive energy in deep communion, there is a fulfillment, there is orgasm. A cosmic experience happens which leaves no emptiness in you, at least for the time being.
But your making love to a man, or a woman making love to a woman, is not going to help. I am not against homosexuality: I am simply stating a fact. I have no condemnation for it, but it will not be fulfilling - that much I have to say.
.Find a woman. If you cannot find one, tell me.