Chapter 18: Catharsis and Meditation: Steps on The Path
Moreover, we have suppressed so many things. We are just a heap of repressions. Those repressions are always there working in the unconscious, constantly disturbing you, poisoning you. Unless they are released you cannot feel at ease with yourself. And if you cannot feel at ease with yourself, how can you feel at ease with the universe? If you cannot feel at home with yourself, how can you feel at home with the universe? But unless you are deeply at ease with the whole, you have not tasted religion.
You have not been in contact with yourself for so long, for many lives. You are alienated from yourself, you have become a stranger to yourself because of this repressive attitude. We go on repressing everything. You have not screamed, laughed, you have not cried, you have not done anything authentically, deeply, in which your totality is involved.
Deep down, you have been collecting madness. It can erupt at any moment. No one is normal because, just behind the so-called normalcy, the abnormal, the madman, is hidden. That abnormal, that repressed unconscious is a volcano, and it goes on disturbing your life, it goes on disturbing your perceptions. It goes on disturbing everything. It is a poison, a source of poison that has to be released to make you feel at home with yourself. That’s the first step. Only then can you be at ease with the universe.
And once - if even for a single moment - the universe becomes your home, you have become religious. It’s a transformation. Then you will never be something else. Then you can move anywhere, you can be anyone or anything, and you will remain, deep down, in your home. This feeling, in depth, can come only when all the accumulated nonsense inside you is released and thrown out.
We go on preserving it. We are always on guard so that it won’t be released; we protect it from everywhere. If you even go on protecting it during this meditation camp, nothing will happen. If you are ready to act out whatsoever is repressed in your system, then much is possible. You can leave here a totally new man; a new being can happen to you. But you will have to be daring, expressive, authentic and playful with yourself.
We will be doing three meditations: in the morning, in the afternoon, and the night. I’ll tell you something about the morning meditation so you can be ready for it.
The morning meditation is a mad meditation - madness with a method. Whatsoever is suppressed in you has to be brought out. Once it is brought out, you will be relieved of it, unburdened from it. As I see you, I see you so burdened - everyone carrying the Himalayas with himself. You cannot move an inch with this whole Himalaya on your head. Throw it off! That’s what I call daring. Be courageous.
In the morning meditation there are four steps. The first step is of ten minutes: chaotic breathing. I say chaotic. No system is to be applied, no pranayama. Just chaotic breathing: breathing in and breathing out. Forget everything else. Use breathing as a hammering, and breathe so fast, so deep and so chaotically that you become just a system of breathing: breathing in, breathing out. It works miracles.
First: it helps you to release your repressed emotions, because breathing has helped you to repress them, so only through breathing can they be released.