Chapter 6: Man Carries The Seed
It is just like a spider’s web.. In the Upanishads it is said - one of the most beautiful symbols - the Upanishads say that everybody is just like a spider carrying its own web inside. Wherever the spider goes, it spreads its web around; it brings it out of its own intestine. And whenever a spider wants to move, it swallows the web again and moves. You carry your heaven and hell just like a spider’s web, and wherever you go you will create the pattern around you.
This has to be very deeply understood, as deeply as possible, because many things will depend on it - your whole transformation will depend on it. And if you miss this point, then you will go on missing.
A man has been coming to me for at least ten years. He starts meditation.a few days, at the most a few weeks, and he feels very good - he feels simply wonderful. And when he is doing meditation he comes to me and says, “Absolutely fine! Nothing else is needed. I am so happy - as I have never been.” And suddenly one day he stops; then he disappears for a few months, forgets about me. Again he comes, miserable, sad, in deep anguish, and I again tell him to start meditation. And I ask him, “Why did you stop? - because you were feeling so great, you were feeling so beautiful.”
He says, “When I am feeling beautiful and great something within me always says, ‘Now there is no need to meditate,’ and I stop. And then I again fall in the valley, in the darkness, and the misery comes in. And then I again come to you.”
And I asked him this time when he came, “How many times has it happened - can’t you learn anything from experience? In ten years it must have happened at least thirty times.”
He said, “This time I am going to stick at it.”
But I know it is not possible, because this promise he has given many times before. His promise is not reliable; thirty times he has given me the same promise and broken it. And he is not aware at all of what he is doing. The moment he reaches near an explosion the mind steps back and says, “What is the need? Now you are so happy - why bother about getting up early in the morning, why bother about doing meditation? Now everything is good - it is not needed. When the illness is not there one stops the medicine, so stop it!”
Again and again and again, and never coming to any understanding through it.
In the Mahabharata, the greatest epic in the world, there is a story, a very beautiful story. The five Pandavas, the five brothers around whom the whole epic moves, have been thrown out of their kingdom and they are living as fugitives in a forest. One day they were feeling very thirsty, and one of the brothers, the youngest, goes to seek some water. He comes near a beautiful lake, but the moment he steps in the lake to fill his water pot he hears a voice. Some invisible voice says, “Wait! Unless you answer my questions you cannot take the water from this lake. That’s the only condition: you have to answer my three questions. And if you can’t answer then you will fall dead here and now. The first question is: What is the most important thing about man? - the most important thing about man?” And the young Pandava couldn’t answer - he fell dead.