Chapter 7: Zen Is Love
Now before you go in, I have to say a few jokes so that you can come back; otherwise, this world is not worth returning to. I make every effort that at least our small world is joyous, laughing, so that when you go in you will not remain there, you will bring the buddha out. You don’t have to remain there. Just carry the buddha out - in your actions, in your feelings, in your love. But come out!
And just to make sure, I have to tell you a few jokes so you don’t become serious and remain inside thinking the world is a dream. It is all a changing flux - “Why bother.nobody is going to miss me anyway, and it is so peaceful here.” From this peaceful space, going to the canteen is a quantum leap.
You are here being buddhas, and then seeing the same buddhas eating in the canteen - one is simply shocked. I don’t know where your canteen is, I never go anywhere. Just so as not to see some buddha doing something which is not buddha-like, I keep myself closed in my room. I come only in the evening to see you, when you are ready to be buddhas - just for a few minutes, then you are free.
Kowalski is standing at the urinal quietly pissing, when he notices that he is being watched by a midget.
Kowalski continues his pissing, when suddenly he sees the midget dragging a stool up next to him. The midget climbs up and proceeds to admire Kowalski’s machinery from close by.
“Wow!” exclaims the midget. “You have the nicest balls I have ever seen.”
“Well, er.thanks!” says Kowalski, surprised and flattered. Then he begins to move away.
“Listen,” says the midget. “I know this is a rather strange request, but I wonder if you would mind if I touch them?”
Startled, Kowalski hesitates. But seeing no real harm in it, he says, “Okay.”
Standing on his tip-toes on the stool, the midget reaches up and gets a good grip on Kowalski’s balls. Then in a loud voice, the little guy yells, “Okay, buster! Hand over your wallet, or I will jump!”
Giovanni is holding his head in despair.
“It-a is a tragedy!” he exclaims to his friend, Luigi.
“Why-a?” asks Luigi.
“I come-a home last night, and what do I see?” says Giovanni. “My wife is-a in bed with a Chinese!”
“Really? What did-a you say?” asks Luigi.
“What could I say?” shouts Giovanni crazily. “I don’t-a speak Chinese!”
Terry Turkeynose is snoring sweetly one night, when he starts dreaming that God is talking to him.
“Terry!” booms the voice of God. “I have big plans for you, so you had better clean up your act!”