Chapter 10: The Alpha Is the Omega
To drop the positive means to drop the happiness; to drop the positive means to drop all that looks like flowers, all that is beautiful. The negative is the ugly, positive is the beautiful. The negative is death, positive is life. But you can drop the negative, so take the first step. First feel the misery, how much misery is given to you by the negative. Just watch how misery arises out of it, just watch and feel. The very feeling that the negative is creating misery will become the dropping.
But mind has a very deep trick. Whenever you are miserable it always says somebody else is responsible. Be alert, because if you are a victim of this trick then the negative can never be dropped. This is how the negative is hiding itself. You are angry: the mind says somebody has insulted you and that’s why you are angry. That is not right. Somebody may have insulted you, but that is just an excuse. You were already waiting to be angry. Anger was accumulating within you, otherwise somebody would have insulted and there would have been no anger.
The insult may become the visible cause of it, but it is not really the cause. You are boiling within. In fact, the person who insults you helps you. He helps you to bring your inner turmoil out and be finished with it. You are in such a bad shape that even insult helps you. The enemy helps you because he helps you to bring all the negativity out. At least you are unburdened for the time being.
Mind has this trick always to divert your consciousness towards the other. Immediately something goes wrong and you start looking who has done this. In that looking you miss, and the real culprit is hiding behind.
Make it an absolute law that whenever something is wrong, immediately close your eyes and look for the real culprit. And you will be able to see, because it is a truth. It is a reality. It is true that you accumulate anger, that’s why you become angry; it is true that you accumulate hate, that’s why you feel hatred. The other is not a real cause. In Sanskrit they have two terms: one term is karan, the real cause, and the other term is nimitta, the unreal cause. And the nimitta, the unreal cause which appears as cause but is not the cause, befools you. It has been befooling you for many, many lives.
Immediately close your eyes and go in whenever you feel something miserable is happening, because that is the right moment to catch the culprit red-handed; otherwise you will not be able to catch it. When the anger has disappeared, you will close the eyes but you will not find anything there. In a red-hot situation, don’t miss the point. Make it a meditation.
And if you start feeling, there is no need for any method to drop the negative. Negative is so ugly, it is such a disease - how you are carrying it is amazing. Dropping is nothing; carrying is amazing. It has been a riddle for all the buddhas: how you carry and why you carry all of your diseases so lovingly? You are so careful about them, you protect all that is wrong. Protected, it gets deeper and deeper roots in you.