Chapter 9: A Conscious Death
You can watch this happening in this country. This country has remained afraid of sex, and this country is very much afraid of death also. You cannot find more cowards anywhere, you cannot find more cowardly people anywhere. What has happened? Those people who are afraid of death will become afraid of sex also, because a small death happens in sex. Those people who become afraid of sex, cling too much to life. They become miserly. Misers miss sexual orgasms and then they miss the great orgasm, the fulfillment of the whole life.
Once you know what death is, you will receive it with great celebration. You will welcome it. It is the fulfillment of your whole life’s effort. It is the fruition of your whole life’s effort. The journey ends. One comes back home.
But in death you don’t die. Just the energy that was given to you through the body and through the mind is released, goes back to the world. You return back home.
If you don’t die rightly, you will be born again. Now let me explain it to you. If you don’t die rightly, if you don’t achieve the total orgasm that death is, you will be born again, because you missed and you have to be given another opportunity.
Existence is very patient with you. It goes on giving you more opportunities. It has compassion. If you have missed this life, it will give you another. If you have failed this time, for another session you will be sent back to the world. Unless you fulfill the goal, you will be sent back again and again. That is the meaning of the theory of rebirth.
The Christian God is a little miserly. He gives only one life. That creates much tension. Just one life? - no time even to err, no time to go astray. That creates very deep inner tension. In the East we have created the concept of a more compassionate God who goes on giving: “You have missed this one? Take another.”
And in a way it is very sensible. There is no “God” as personified, who gives life to you. It is in fact you. Have you watched sometimes? In the night you go to sleep. Just watch. When you fall asleep, when you are falling asleep, just watch the last thought, the last desire, the last fragment in your mind. And then when in the morning you feel awake, don’t open the eyes; just again watch. The last fragment will be the first fragment again.
If you were thinking of money when you were falling asleep, exactly the same thought will be the first thought in the morning. You will be thinking of money again - because that thought remained in your mind, waited for you to come back to it. If you were thinking of sex, in the morning you will be thinking of sex. Whatsoever.. If you were thinking of God and you prayed and that was your last thing in the night, first thing in the morning you will find a prayerfulness arising in you.
The last thought in the night is the first thought in the morning. The last thought of this life will be the first thought of another life. The last thought when you are dying this time will become the first seed of your next life.
But when a Buddha dies, a man who has attained, he simply dies with no thought. He enjoys the orgasm. It is so fulfilling, it is so totally fulfilling that there is no need to come back. He disappears into the cosmos. There is no need to be embodied again.