Chapter 27: So Which Way Are You Moving?
Whatever you are doing can either bring you close to the point of explosion or can take you away from the point and make you more closed. These are the two possibilities within you: exploding into a lightning experience or being closed in a dark night of the soul.
So which way are you moving?
If you are moving towards the dark night of the soul you are missing - and missing more every moment because you are going farther and farther away. And there is no end of going farther away. You can go away eternally; there is no time limit.
One can remain unenlightened forever - that’s the danger. And one can become enlightened this very moment. The question is, towards what are you moving? If you are coming closer to your center of explosion, then every moment you are nearer and nearer to enlightenment. It depends on your speed. If your understanding is intense enough, it can happen this very moment; you have not to wait even for a single moment more.
So you see these are the two possibilities: either now or never. Both are possible, and man’s prerogative is that he has the freedom to go either way.
There is no harm in doing your own thing - but you don’t know who you are, how can you do your own thing? It is a dilemma. Those who know cannot do their own thing, because they know there is nobody inside as a self, as a separate entity from existence. Those who do not know themselves cannot do their own thing because they don’t know even their own self.
So either you are accidental.one possibility; that’s what you call “doing your own thing.” You are accidental, or you are existential: that’s what I call “doing the thing existence wants you to do.” It is not your own thing. I am not doing my own thing - there is nobody to do such a thing. I am simply available to existence. So whatever and wherever it wants to lead me, I am available, because I am not.
Remember, these are the difficulties with language. I say I am available because I am not. Only when I am not, there is availability. If I am, then there is always choice, not availability. Then I will judge whether to go this way or not, whether to do this or not. So whenever you are doing your own thing, one thing is certain: you are not in tune with existence. So what can it be? It can only be accidental.
I know people who had come accidentally to me. They had come to meet one of their friends who was a sannyasin; they had not come to meet me or to see me. They were not even remotely interested in me, but then listening to me they became interested, they became curious, they became involved. This is accidental. If I send them away to do something I can be certain some accident is going to happen.
I have tried. Seeing some accidental people, I have told them, “Go and open a center in your place,” and they were very happy and they went there and fell in love with a woman, and forgot all about the center - got married and got into the whole mess of marriage.