Chapter 18: Marriage: The Coffin of Love
If you are intelligent, those moments will remain always with you - young, fresh, still fragrant - and will make your capacity to love deeper, more intense. But very few people are intelligent. Ninety-nine percent will be in despair, angry; they will forget all those beautiful moments immediately, because love has deceived them. Now, this is your own idea. Love has never said to you that, “I am going to remain here forever.” It was your assumption.
You have assumed - for which love is not responsible. You were not the master of its coming; how can you be the master and force it to stay, not to go? But ninety-nine percent of people are unintelligent. Still, that’s where evolution has reached. Those ninety-nine percent of people will turn those moments of love into moments of hate. They will hate the person, they will throw all responsibility onto the person. They will try in every way to make the other person feel guilty: “You deceived, cheated.” And the other person is going to do the same because he also belongs to the ninety-nine percent. So those who were lovers will become enemies. Where there was love will now be hate, revengefulness.
To avoid all this, all the societies have tried to arrange that before you are caught in the whirlwind of a love affair you should be married. Hence child marriage was the general rule all over the world. You should not be allowed to be adult, because then it is beyond you: love may strike you, so it is good to be on the safe side. All the societies have tried it: love has to be kept as far away from your life as possible. And the best way was child marriage.
You will be surprised: in India marriages even used to happen when the children were in the womb. People would make the agreement that, “If a boy is born to me and a girl to you, or a boy to you and a girl to me, they will get married.” Neither of them were born yet, so they were not certain who was going to be a boy or who was going to be a girl, whether both were going to be boys - then of course, the contract failed - or both were going to be girls.the contract failed.
But people were making contracts, and those contracts were followed. It was a prestigious thing, a question of promise, of giving your word. Nobody bothered who the beings were in the wombs, what type - no, it was not necessary. In fact the society has found it is better the quicker you do it; if not in the womb, then as soon as the children are born.
My mother got married when she was only seven years of age. Now, what can a seven-year-old girl think? My father was eleven years old. Now what does an eleven-year-old boy know about love and its problems? My mother used to tell me that the whole village was agog with the ceremony, and all the people gathered in front of the house and a big band came from the capital. And only she was not allowed to go and see. All the children were outside and she could not understand what was the matter, what was wrong with her. They had to tie her to a pole inside the house because she was running outside - so much was happening out there. The whole house was outside, nobody was inside; only she was not allowed.