Chapter 6: You’ll Never Forget the Jokes
The first question:
What is the need for secrecy in master-disciple relationships and also in ordinary human relationships?
The being has two sides, the without and the within. The without can be public, but the within cannot be. If you make the within public you will lose your soul, you will lose your original face. Then you will live as if you have no inner being. Life will become drab, futile. It happens to people who live a public life: politicians, film actors. They become public, they lose their inner being completely, they don’t know who they are except what the public says about them. They depend on others’ opinion, they don’t have a sense of their being.
One of the most famous actresses, Marilyn Monroe, committed suicide, and psychoanalysts have been brooding on the reason why. She was one of the most beautiful women ever, one of the most successful. Even the President of America, Kennedy, was in love with her, and she had thousands of lovers. One cannot think of what more you can have. She had everything. But she was public and she knew it. Even in her love chamber when President Kennedy would be there she used to address him as Mr. President - as if one was making love not to a man, but to an institution. She was an institution. By and by she became aware that she had nothing private. Once somebody asked her - she had just posed for a nude calendar and somebody asked, “Did you have anything on while you posed for the nude calendar?”
She said, “Yes, I had something on. The radio.”
Exposed, nude, no private self. My feeling is that she committed suicide because that was the only thing left she could have done privately. Everything was public, that was the only thing left she could do on her own, alone - something absolutely intimate and secret. Public figures are always tempted towards suicide because only through suicide can they have a glimpse of who they are.
All that is beautiful is inner, and the inner means privacy. Have you watched women making love? They always close their eyes. They know something. A man goes on making love with open eyes, he remains a watcher also. He is not completely in the act, he is not totally in it. He remains a voyeur, as if somebody else is making love and he is watching, as if the love-making is going on on a TV screen or in a movie. But a woman knows better because she is more delicately tuned to the inner. She always closes her eyes. Then love has a totally different fragrance.