Chapter 17: Melting the Ice Cube
Bayazid picked up the head and kissed it. When his disciples asked who he was, who this man was, he answered, “This is the head of a Sufi dervish who gave up both worlds for God. I have not yet been able to do it. I had reached to the point where it could have happened, but I missed.”
On the severed head these words from the Koran were written: He loseth both the world and the hereafter. One has to lose all, only then is God gained.
The people who are searching for God, the people who are searching for enlightenment, nirvana, moksha, or any other name, will go on missing; and their lives will become more and more complicated, and the journey will become harder and harder.
But Bayazid had taken a lesson from his first experience. Soon he was again at the station of nearness. Again it was asked, “Bayazid, ask something!” This time he did not even bother to say that “I have nothing to ask” - because even if you say that you have nothing to ask, you are. He simply sat there in utter silence. Again and again the voice provoked him, tempted him, “Ask something, Bayazid!” but there was no answer from Bayazid. Thrice it was repeated, “Bayazid, ask something!” And this voice was God’s voice, this was disrespectful! When God himself is telling you to ask, ask! But Bayazid was not there, there was nobody; so how to be respectful or disrespectful?
This is what Sufis call adab: the way of being in the presence of a master, and ultimately, the way of being in the presence of God.
There was no Bayazid, so even this provocation, “Ask, Bayazid! This is disrespectful towards God. I am God myself, asking you to ask something. I am happy with you. I am here to give you all that you want, all that you ask. Even if you ask me, I am ready to give myself to you.”
But this time there was nobody, the silence remained undisturbed. There was no response from Bayazid. And he took the ultimate jump, it happened - he became God. This is the way one becomes a God, this is the way one attains.
It is said:
“Who are you?” somebody asked Bayazid.
He said, “I lost him years ago. The more I seek him, the less I find.”
“Who are you?” the person asked again.
Bayazid said, “There is nothing under my cloak but Allah. Except God, there is nobody within me, so the question ‘who are you?’ is meaningless. I am not, God is. And God is always blissful. God is blissfulness, so the question is irrelevant. There is nobody, nothing under my cloak, except Allah.”