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Chapter 8: Fast Asleep and Snoring

Osho,
The more close I feel to you, the more you seem to disappear. It is like coming near a river: the river is there and yet it is not there. Where are you, Osho?

“The more close I feel to you, the more you seem to disappear.”

Exactly that’s how it will happen, because my whole effort is to help you to disappear. The closer you come to me, the more you will find that I am disappearing. That’s just a hint, a guide, that you should follow me in disappearing. So if you want to disappear, only then come closer to me.

That’s why there are many who are clever - they don’t come very close, that is dangerous. That is coming close to a fire, that is coming close to death!

In the old Indian scriptures the master is called death. The master is a death and also a resurrection. But he is first a death and then a resurrection; you have to die in him and then you are reborn. But the death is the beginning. So when you come close to me, you are bound to feel that “I am disappearing.” Take the hint and follow me in disappearing, because you can meet me only when neither I am nor you are; when both are not there - the meeting, the union.

“The more close I feel to you, the more you seem to disappear.”

You are on the right path, don’t be afraid - come closer!

When Rama Priya comes to see me, she sits far away and I have to tell her, “Come closer.” Two inches she moves, then I say, “Come still closer.” Two inches again, then I say, “Come still closer.”

She is certainly aware that to come close is to die. She comes close - it is natural, she hesitates. She comes close laughing, enjoying.but also afraid and hesitating.

But I am calling you to come close and I will not leave you until you disappear. I will go on haunting you, in your days, in your nights, in your thoughts, in your dreams. Wherever you are, once you have been in contact with me - only once - then I will haunt you. Then you will never be peaceful until you die!

“It is like coming near a river: the river is there and yet it is not there.”

Yes! I am there and yet I am not there. If you are far away from me I am there, if you come close I am not there. If you come deep within me you will not find anybody there - just a nobodyness, a nothingness, a deep emptiness.

And you ask, “Where are you, Osho?”

Nowhere! The where has disappeared, the when has disappeared. The time and space are no more relevant.

And remember, if you want to be all, you cannot afford to be somebody. If you want to be everywhere you have to be nowhere. If you want to become the eternity then you cannot be in any point of time. If you want to be a god you have to lose all. That is the greatest gamble ever: one loses one’s self, stakes one’s totality but one is never at a loss; one loses one’s self but the whole is attained.

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