Chapter 15: Now You Can Go
This is happening: either we allow the objective reality to kill the inner and the subjective, or we allow the subjective to project a dreamworld on the objective, and then the objective disappears. These are two extreme viewpoints. Science goes on thinking in terms of the objective and goes on denying the subjective. Religion goes on talking about the subjective and denying the objective.
I am totally different from both. My emphasis is that objective is objective and let it remain objective. Subjective is subjective and let it remain subjective. Keep their purities and you will be saner for it. If you mix them, if you confuse them, you will become insane, you will lose balance.
The second question:
Yesterday you spoke of psychoanalysis and the phenomenon of patients falling in love with their analysts. Analysis calls this phenomenon transference and tries to make it happen on purpose. Through this total projection of one’s feelings of love onto the analyst, a person grows and learns to love in a healthier way. Is not this concept the same as that of surrender in the Eastern tradition? Is it not possible that Freud discovered its value through some esoteric leak?
Yes, transference can be helpful, but not with an analyst. It can be helpful with a master. It can be helpful only if the person with whom you fall in love has himself gone beyond lust, has himself solved all his love problems. If you fall in love with a master. By “master” I mean one who has gone beyond attachment, lust; who has gone beyond all problems of love.
Otherwise the transference is going to be double. The patient is transfering, projecting, his own love need onto the doctor and the doctor is projecting his own love need onto the patient. And a doctor who has his own love need cannot be of much help. Really, he himself is ill, and two ill persons cannot help each other to be healthier. This is again going to be a frustration, not a growth in love.
Love can only grow if the other person has grown beyond ordinary problems, the ordinary conflict of love. What is the problem of love? The one problem is that the moment you are in love with someone you are also in hate with the same person. This is the first problem because whomsoever you love, side by side you hate him also.
Why do you hate a person you love? Love is a need, and just like love there is another need and that is of freedom. The moment you love a person you start feeling dependent; your freedom is lost. And the person who is killing your freedom is bound to be hated. And the person who is making you dependent will appear not only as an enemy but as the arch-enemy, because he is killing all your freedom, your liberty, your individuality. But love is a need, so you fulfill love at the cost of freedom. You love a person and you hate that person also.