Chapter 1: Beyond Happiness Is Bliss
Once in a while it happens naturally - because it is your very nature to be free. So once in a while, in spite of you.seeing a sunset, suddenly you forget all your desires. You forget all lust, all hankering for pleasure. The sunset is so beautiful, so overwhelming, that you forget the past and the future; only the present remains. You are so one with the moment, there is no observer and no observed. The observer becomes the observed. You are not separate from the sunset.
You are bridged; in such a communion you come into a clearing, and because of the clearing you feel joyous. But again you are back into the black hole for the simple reason that coming out into the clearing you need courage to remain in the empty sky.
That’s what I call sannyas.
This courage I call sannyas - not escaping but coming into the clearing, seeing the sky unclouded, listening to the songs of the birds without distorting. And then again and again you are becoming more and more attuned with the emptiness and the joy of being empty. And slowly, slowly you see that emptiness is not just emptiness; it is fullness, but a fullness of which you have never been aware, a fullness of which you have never tasted. So in the beginning it looks empty; in the end it is full, totally full, overflowingly full. It is full of peace, it is full of silence, it is full of light.
You have come out of the hollow into the clearing. Sometimes while meditating it happens, sometimes while listening to music it happens, sometimes while dancing it happens, sometimes while just sitting doing nothing it happens. That’s what meditation is all about: allowing these moments to come more and more, welcoming these moments, cherishing these moments, so that you become easily capable of coming out of the black hole. And as you become accustomed to the clearing and the beauty of it and the blessing of it, you move less and less into the black hole. One day, suddenly you abandon the black hole; it is no more your home. The clearing becomes your home, clarity becomes your home. That is the day of great rejoicing.
Desire is a hollow
and people say, “Look!
He was free.
But now he gives up his freedom.”
I can see it happening in you. Many times I see a certain person coming into the clearing and then moving again into the black hole.
This is what is happening to Somendra. He was coming into the clearing, he had tasted something of the clearing, but then the very experience of the clearing made him egoistic. It gave him a certain pious egoism. He started feeling special; hence, just the other day he was asking for recognition. He used to sit here in the third row; he wanted to sit in the first row. Now he has disappeared from the third row. He sits somewhere in the back, and there too he sits not facing towards me; his back is towards me! Moving into the black hole again!