Chapter 3: The Sense of Separateness
A religious man goes beyond anxiety, beyond the fear of death, because now he knows that he is not and the whole is, so why fear? Even death becomes a communion, a meeting: it is not dissolving, rather, it is merging. It is not against you, it is for you - a deep relaxation.
Life is tension, anxiety. Death is beautiful. You simply go into a deep relaxation. You move into the source again. The wave will rise again, but for the moment it has ceased, gone into the ocean to rest. Death is a deep rest. And that rest is needed before a new birth.
Once you accept and become aware of the deep unity, the organic, oceanic unity, everything is one, existence is one. It appears in different forms, a multi-million forms, but only forms differ. The substance, the innermost core, remains one. Then there is no fear. You accept everything.
This attitude will help you to move into meditation very easily. Remember, if you are afraid of death you will also be afraid of meditation. There is a logical corollary. If you are afraid of death you cannot allow yourself to move totally into meditation because meditation is a kind of death, a sort of death. Consciously, voluntarily, you are merging yourself into the whole. You are dying as an individual, as an ego, and becoming one with the egoless existence.
If you are afraid of death you will also be afraid of meditation. If you love meditation, you will not be afraid of death. If you enter meditation unafraid, fearless, you will become deathless, because there will be no death for you. You are already dead, so how can you die again? One who has entered meditation is already dead. Now you cannot die again, now death cannot destroy you. You have already surrendered, you are no longer. Death will enter an empty house. You will not be found there, because only the ego dies, not you. Your life is eternal, the ego is transitory. The ego is just a created, composed phenomenon: you have created it. It is needed, it has some utility. In society you need an ego, but in life, in existence, that same ego becomes a barrier.
That’s why sannyas means going beyond society, because it means surrendering the ego. In society, the ego is needed. You must have some point of reference to indicate who you are. In sannyas, that point of reference is not needed. There is no need to say who you are, you can simply be. You are, that’s all. There is no need to tell anyone who you are. That “who” is a social need. Existence never asks you who you are.
When you drop the phenomenon of the ego, you are ready to become one. So these are really two ways of saying the same thing: either think that the whole of existence is one, or think that there is no ego in you. They will do the same thing, the result will be the same: you will come to an oceanic unity. And once known, that unity cannot be lost again.
Kill out all sense of separateness. Become just a drop - a drop of water that has fallen into the ocean and become one with it. And don’t fear death because, really, there is no death for you.