Chapter 9: I Am a Simple Human Being
We have put more than two hundred million dollars in the commune. From all over the world, sannyasins have poured whatsoever they could. Just an opportunity.. Who does not want to be rich? There is nothing wrong in being rich, but one should not try to be rich through wrong means. Create wealth, and be rich! This was simply theft. The money was coming for the commune, and she was slowly taking a few parts and accumulating it.
And this woman who has informed was her secretary five years before. They were intimate friends, so whatever she says seems to be meaningful. She is dying of cancer, and it always happens when you are dying, you want to unburden yourself of any lie that you have been hiding. That’s why she has written the letter saying that “I am dying, but I want to relate that Sheela has stolen forty-three million dollars and she has it in a bank account in Switzerland.”
So money - it is everybody’s desire, and there is no harm in it, but be creative. Stealing, and that too stealing from a commune who loves you, is criminal. She has no money of her own. She was just a waitress in a hotel before she came to me. Waitresses in hotels don’t have forty-three million dollars in accounts.
She had the opportunity - that you love me, you trust me. For thirty years thousands of sannyasins have loved me, trusted me, and nobody has been cheated, nobody has been exploited, no fascism has come out of it. But I was in silence, and I was completely in isolation: not talking to anybody, not meeting anybody. This gave her another opportunity: that, in my name, she can manipulate you.
She started slowly, but things have a way of growing. Everything grows. The more she became powerful, the more the lust for power to control. She dropped all those sannyasins who were intelligent enough to see the difference between what she was saying and what I have been teaching - not only different, but just the contrary.
I have been teaching to you: Don’t believe - inquire, doubt, search. Unless you know, it is better to remain ignorant. At least you are honest. Belief is self-deception. You don’t know, but the belief covers your ignorance.
Ask anybody outside the commune, “Is there a God?” and he will say “Yes,” as if he knows. He does not know himself, and he knows God! And just try to argue with him, and soon you will come to know that it is his belief, that from the very beginning he has been conditioned that there is a God.
It will look very strange to you that all the religions have prevented people from discovering the truth of life - because before you discover, inquire, question, they fill your mind with all kinds of beliefs. Those beliefs give you a deceptive feeling as if you know.
But there is much difference in “as if” to know, and “to know.” Knowing transforms you. “As if” to know, you remain the same.
You go to the church, you go to the synagogue, you go to the temple, you read holy scriptures, but no transformation happens.
I have been teaching to you not belief but doubt. Doubt is clean, fresh, young.
Every child is born with doubt, not with a belief. Every child asks thousands of questions. Those questions show that he has doubts, that he is skeptical. He is continuously asking, “Why?”