Chapter 7: The Rock Bottom of It All
Rabiya said, “Nobody has corrected it. It is me. I corrected it because it became impossible to tolerate that passage. I love God, and I love him so much that in the beginning the hate for the Devil continued to hang around like a shadow, just on the fringe. But as my love grew, as it became more and more intense, just like intense sunlight, the shadow disappeared.
“In my whole being there is no possibility of hating. Even if the devil comes I will have to offer my love, because I cannot offer anything else.there is nothing left. How can you see through the eyes of love if someone is a devil? He will be a god to me, because only God exists for love. So I had to correct the sentence, because it became intolerable; it didn’t fit with my experience. I followed the Koran in loving God, but then I have to correct it in not hating the Devil.”
Just let it hang around you - not only about meditation, but about anything. Mind always has the opposite hidden behind it. You love the same person you hate. You respect the same person that you rebel against. The moment you say no to me, you have already said yes - otherwise a no is meaningless. When you say yes, no becomes meaningful. That is why no by itself becomes impotent; it carries its meaning only through yes. But don’t pay any attention to no. Let it hang there - there is nothing to worry about. It has no power, it has only borrowed light.
Just pay attention to yes. If I say a hundred things to you and to ninety-nine you want to say no, forget about those ninety-nine. The one you want to say yes to, remember. From the back door you will see that those ninety-nine are coming; because they are related, and if one enters, they all enter.
But everybody feels like that in the beginning, and in fact it should be so - but don’t pay much attention to it. Don’t make it a trip, otherwise it can become a destructive thing.
When I was ten years old I was laughing uncontrollably, and my father hit me for it. Now I feel I can’t laugh totally. I laugh a lot but it seems to only go to my chest. Can you teach me how to laugh properly? I’ve done a lot of crying since I’ve been with you.. It tears me apart sometimes.
Do one thing. In the morning, early, before you have eaten anything, drink almost a bucketful of water - lukewarm with salt in it. Go on drinking it and do it fast, otherwise you will not be able to drink much. Then just bend down and gargle so the water will flow back. It will be a vomiting of the water - and it will clean your passage. Nothing else is needed. The hit has made a block in the passage so that whenever you want to laugh, that stops it.