Chapter 4: Living by Loving
Love is certainly the most therapeutic phenomenon. Sigmund Freud was very much afraid of it, so much so.hugging was beyond the question. He was not even ready to face the patient, because listening to his misery, listening to his inner nightmares, he may start feeling sympathetic. His eyes may become wet, tears may start flowing, or maybe in an unguarded moment he may hold the hand of the patient.
He was so much afraid of any loving relationship between the therapist and the patient that he created a certain device. The patient has to lie down on the couch and behind the couch the psychoanalyst has to sit, so they are not facing each other.
Remember one thing: it is by facing each other that love grows. Animals cannot grow love because they make love to each other without facing each other, so there is no friendship, no relatedness. Once they are finished with lovemaking they go their ways - separately, not even saying a thank you, or good-bye, or see you soon! Animals have not been able to create friendship, family, society; for the simple reason that when they are making love they are not looking into each other’s eyes. They are not looking into each other’s faces; as if their lovemaking is almost mechanical; there is no human element in it.
Man created the whole dimension of all kinds of relationships for the simple reason that he is the only animal who makes love facing each other. Then eyes start communicating, then facial expressions become a subtle language. Then the changes of mood and emotions - the joy, the ecstasy, the orgasmic glow - and intimacy grows. Intimacy needs it; it is a basic requirement.
Hence it is good to make love in light, not in darkness - at least a dim light, a candlelight. Making love in darkness is just something animal in us, avoiding facing each other.a strategy to avoid.
Sigmund Freud was very much afraid of love, he was afraid of his own repressed love. He was afraid that he might get into some entanglement, involvement. He wanted to be just outside, not to be involved with the person, not to become part of his interiority, not to enter into deep waters but just to remain a scientific observer, aloof, detached, cool, far away. He wanted to create psychoanalysis as if it is a science. It is not a science, and it is never going to be a science! It is an art, and it is far closer to love than to logic.
And the real psychoanalyst will not avoid getting deep into the interiority of the patient - he will take the risk. It is risky; it is going into troubled waters. You may be drowned yourself - after all, you are also human! You may get into some trouble, complexity; you may create some problems for yourself, but that risk has to be taken.
That’s why I love Wilhelm Reich very much. He is the man who transformed the whole face of psychoanalysis - by getting involved with the patient. He discarded the couch, he discarded this detached aloofness. He is a far greater revolutionary than Sigmund Freud. Sigmund Freud remained traditional, he was really afraid of his own repressions.