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Chapter 6: This Cake Is Delicious

“What is going on?” asked Aloysius. “From eight in the morning until twelve noon jubilating? And from twelve noon until eight in the evening singing hosanna? So.hmm.yes, and when do I get something to drink?”

“You will get your manna in due time,” said Peter slightly annoyed, and left him.

“Hell!” grumbled Angel Aloysius. “That is going to be rather a drag! I should jubilate from eight to twelve? And I thought there was no work in heaven.” But he finally sat down on a cloud and began to sing as he was told: “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!”

A very high-spirited intellectual came gliding by. “Hey, you!” called Aloysius, “How about a pinch of snuff? Come on now, let’s have some!” But the intellectual angel was revolted by this vulgar idea. He just whispered “Hosanna” and departed.

Aloysius became furious. “What kind of silly idiot is this?” he shouted. “If you don’t have any snuff, you just don’t, right? A man can expect a decent answer, can’t he? You country bumpkin, you! Oh dear, what people they have up here! Ah, what did I get into!” And once more he sat down on his cloud and continued to jubilate.

But his anger showed in his singing, and he was shouting so loudly that the “Heavenly Father” next door awoke from his afternoon nap and asked with astonishment: “From whence cometh this noise?” At once he sent for Saint Peter, who came running, and together they heard the scandalous jubilating of Angel Aloysius: “Hallelujah! Scheisse! Hallelujah! Bullshit! Hallelujah! Fuck you! Hallelujah!” Saint Peter hurried away and dragged Aloysius before the Lord.

The Heavenly Father looked at him a long time and then he spoke: “Oh, I see: an angel from Munich. That’s what I thought! Now, tell me, what is all this shouting about?’

That was exactly what Aloysius had been waiting for. He was so furious that he started right out. “I don’t like all these things! I don’t like to have wings! I don’t like to sing Hosanna! I don’t like to drink manna instead of beer! And let me make clear: I do not like to sing!”

“Saint Peter,” said the Lord “this will never do! But I have an idea. We shall employ him as messenger conveying our heavenly advice to the Bavarian government. So he can fly to Munich once or twice a week, and his good soul will rest in peace!”

When Aloysius heard this he felt very happy indeed. Soon he got his first delivery job, a letter, and he flew down to earth.

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