Chapter 10: Just a Small Coin
For the first seven years a child is self-centered, as if he is the center of the whole world. The whole family moves around him. Whatsoever are his needs they are to be fulfilled immediately, otherwise he will go into a tantrum: anger, rage.. He lives like an emperor, a real emperor. The mother, the father - all are servants, and the whole family just exists for him. And of course he thinks the same is true for the wider world. The moon rises for him, the sun rises for him, the seasons change for him. A child for seven years remains absolutely egoistic, self-centered. If you ask psychologists they will say a child for seven years remains masturbatory, satisfied with himself. He does not need anything, anybody. He feels complete.
After seven years - a breakthrough. The child is no more self-centered; he becomes eccentric, literally. Eccentric - the word means going out of the center. He moves towards others. The other becomes the important phenomenon - friends, gangs.. Now he is not so much interested in himself; he is interested in the other, the bigger world. He enters into an adventure to know who is this “other.” Inquiry starts.
After the seventh year the child becomes a great questioner. He questions everything. He becomes a great skeptic, because inquiry is there. He asks millions of questions. He bores the parents to death, he becomes a nuisance. He is interested in the other, and everything of the world is his interest. Why are the trees green? Why did God create the world? Why is this so? He starts becoming more and more philosophic; inquiry, skepticism - he insists on going into things.
He kills a butterfly to see what is inside, destroys a toy just to see how it works, throws a clock just to look into it, how it goes on ticking and chiming - what is the matter inside? He becomes interested in the other, but the other remains of the same sex. He is not interested in girls. If other boys are interested in girls he will think they are sissy. Girls are not interested in boys. If some girl is interested in boys and plays with them, she is a tomboy, not normal, average; something is wrong. This second stage psychoanalysts and psychologists will say is homosexual.
After the fourteenth year a third door opens. He is no more interested in boys, girls are no more interested in girls. They are polite, but not interested. That’s why any friendship that happens between the seventh year and the fourteenth is the deepest, because the mind is homosexual, and no more in life will such friendship happen again. Those friends remain friends forever; it was such a deep tie. You will become friendly with people but that will remain acquaintance, not that deep phenomenon that happened between the seventh and the fourteenth year.
But after the fourteenth year a boy is not interested in boys. If everything goes normal, if he is not stuck somewhere, he will be interested in girls. Now he is becoming heterosexual - not only interested in the others, but really the other, because when a boy is interested in boys, the boy may be other but he is still a boy just like himself, not exactly the other. When a boy becomes interested in girls, now he is really interested in the opposite, the real other. When a girl becomes interested in a boy, now the world enters.
The fourteenth year is a great revolutionary year. Sex becomes mature, one starts thinking in terms of sex, sex fantasies become prominent in the dreams. The boy becomes a great Don Juan, starts courting. Poetry arises, romance. He is entering into the world.