Chapter 17: Buddhas Are Trying to Be Buddhas
Your question is, “The other day when you said we look like Gautam Buddhas when we laugh.” I did not say you look like Gautam Buddhas, I said you are Gautam Buddhas when you laugh. Just look at the cunningness of the mind, its cowardliness. It cannot roar like a lion and say, “I am the buddha!” At the most it can say, “I think, perhaps.I may be a buddha, in some future life.”
You are saying, “.a big let-go happened deep inside me and I cried for a long time.” That was beautiful. Some window opened, perhaps for a split second, and you realized what you can be and what you have become. You can be a buddha, which is your reality, and you have become a beggar, which is not your reality.
Gautam Buddha used to say to his disciples, “I will take away all that you are not and I will give you all that you are, and the whole transformation is complete.”
Tears came. Tears have a beauty if they come out of a joyful moment, out of a let-go. Then they are almost like flowers, dewdrops shining in the morning sun. And they cleanse you of all rubbish, of all garbage, of all crap that your so-called religions, professors, preachers - and there are all kinds of peddlers around - have imposed upon you. For a moment you slipped out of their prison and you saw the full-moon night - just for a moment.
The experience was so precious, you could give your whole life for that experience. But you don’t have anything else to give; it is not yours. Life already belongs to the eternal life. But you can shower with tears your gratitude, your prayer, your thankfulness. Words are very small; they cannot say what tears can say.
Tears are silent, but still say something immense. If they come out of joy, they are the most precious experiences. They will cleanse not only your outer eyes, they will cleanse your inner eye too. They will give you a clarity.
And you also felt “.fragile and the crying often comes back.” Certainly it is a great shock to realize, even for a moment, that you are a buddha. It is a shock because you cannot believe it yourself. You a buddha? Riktam, smoking cigarettes and being a buddha? But I don’t see there is any problem.
A buddha can smoke cigarettes certainly in a totally different way than you smoke. You smoke because of your tensions. He can smoke just out of playfulness. But he avoids it mostly because it contains poison - and why poison the air when it is free and available? That poison, nicotine, in cigarettes is not free, it has to be paid for. It is a simple understanding.
Theoretically there is no problem, but practically no buddha is going to smoke cigarettes. It doesn’t look right. Just visualize the statue of Gautam Buddha with a cigarette in his hand, smoke coming out of his nose.. No, practically it is not possible. But even if theoretically it is possible, then a buddha will do anything with the grace of a buddha, in an enlightened way.
You may be doing the same thing, but it is the same only on the surface. Inside, between the buddha and you there is an unbridgeable distance.