Chapter 29: Pregnant with Enlightenment
Something is happening to me - a feeling of fullness, richness, and expansion in my upper body. It’s pushing on my throat. It’s not gripping me, it’s embracing me, and everyone and everything around me. I don’t know if they can feel it, but I can. It’s a touchless touch, like a sweet hello, not addressed to anyone or anything - but rather everyone and everything. And it is silently following me around. This is like a strange pregnancy, which I know nothing about. How could I? I am a man. What is it, Osho? Can men get pregnant? Have you been visiting me in the night, Osho?
Dhyan John, man also gets pregnant - not in the same way as woman; his pregnancy is far superior. The woman can produce more human beings, but when man gets pregnant, he produces either music, painting, sculpture, poetry - all that makes life worth living and all that gives life value.
But very few people feel this kind of pregnancy. They are so involved in their mundane affairs - in money, in honor, in power, in prestige - that they never care that they can also produce something which will outlive them.
The woman’s child will have a life of seventy or eighty years, but what about the poetry of the Upanishads? Five thousand years, and it is still vibrant and still alive - and the people who gave birth to it could not have avoided feeling pregnant. Every great poet knows that when some poetry is striving to be born he feels almost feminine, almost like a womb in which the poetry is taking shape and growing.
The same is true of all creative arts; but it is more true about those who are meditating, because they are pregnant with a Gautam Buddha. They are going to give birth to themselves. It is a very mysterious phenomenon, but very like the pregnancy of a woman.
You are saying, “Something is happening to me - a feeling of fullness, richness, and expansion.” Those are the symptoms that your old life is going to disappear and a new life is taking shape within you. Where there was emptiness, now there is fullness. Where there was a poverty.because all that man desires, wants, proves only one thing: that he is poor. And you cannot find even the richest man who is not poor in this sense; he may have everything, still he is wanting more. He is a rich poor man, a rich beggar. Your poverty is disappearing and a richness is taking its place.
Everybody lives a closed life. Out of fear - the fear of exposure, the fear of becoming vulnerable, the fear of one’s nakedness - one goes on hiding oneself, creating walls and walls around oneself. But as one starts meditating those walls start collapsing, because consciousness needs expansion. It cannot be confined in a small space - even the whole sky is too small for it.
You are going through a great transformation. This is the transformation everyone is here for. You are saying, “It is embracing me and everyone and everything around me. It is a touchless touch, like a sweet hello, not addressed to anyone or anything - but rather everyone and everything. And it is silently following me around. This is like a strange pregnancy, which I know nothing about.”
Now you will know more and more about it. Just avoid abortion! And as far as man is concerned, and his creativity is concerned, no birth control is needed. More and more people have to be in the same state of creativity.