Chapter 5: Playfulness Is Heaven
That’s what leela is, playfulness is. But you are in love and it becomes serious, and you start thinking of marriage and you start thinking of having children and you start thinking of having a family - and the whole thing has gone ugly! If these things happen, let them happen as by-products, not as results. Yes, if you love a woman, you would like to be with her - this is marriage! There should be no other marriage. There should not even be the idea, because the very idea makes things down-to-earth; the poetry is destroyed. It becomes mundane; the romance is destroyed.
But the moment you are in love, immediately your mind starts weaving and spinning.about family, how to have a family of one’s own. Why should you need “a family of one’s own”? People possess things and people possess people too. If you possess things, it can be forgiven, but how can it be forgiven when you start possessing people? You say “my wife,” “my husband,” “my child” - what have you done to call this child yours? Who are you? How do you come in? Can you create a child? Can you create the child according to your own desire?
A child comes from the unknown, is a gift. You are not the creator, how can you be the possessor? It is not according to you that the child takes shape and form and being. You were longing for a beautiful child and you are hit with a lulu and still you call it “my child.” You have been just a passage in the great play of existence.
Just as there are liberation movements, women’s lib movement, so a new movement should be mounted: children’s liberation movement. Nobody should be allowed to possess children. Possessiveness should not be allowed! Nobody should say “my child.” All children are of God. You can only be a caretaker, not more than that. And you should be grateful that you have been chosen to be a caretaker of a new life evolving. That is more than enough! Enjoy the game of it! of being a caretaker of an evolving life, but don’t start possessing.
But our mind is possessive. The possessiveness has gone to the very roots, and that has been the greatest hindrance in human growth.
When love is possessive it becomes exclusive. Then “this woman is mine, and exclusively mine!” - then she cannot laugh with anybody else, then she cannot hold hands with anybody else, then she cannot look into the eyes of somebody else. What nonsense! Why? Who am I to possess? And how can love be possessive?
Love is always inclusive; it can never be exclusive. If I love the woman, I will love to see her happy in a thousand and one ways, with a thousand and one people. I would like her to be happy. That will be my joy. If she is happy dancing with somebody, I should not feel jealous - I love her! How can I feel jealous? I should be thrilled that she is happy. But when you claim that she is your wife, then you cannot allow this. You start crippling her. She starts paralyzing you in revenge. You both become destructive to each other.
Love is the greatest creative energy, but up to now it has been a misfortune, the greatest misfortune. People have not been killed because of hatred: people have been killed because of love. Life has become so bitter, not because of anger: it has become so bitter because of love.