Chapter 31: I Am an Adamant Optimist
So much misery in the world - and the basic cause is that people are not allowed to move towards their destiny. Everybody is distracted.
The family is no longer needed, and it will be a tremendous blessing - not only to the children, but to the parents also, as it is because of the children that parents go on remaining together even though they don’t love each other.
The moment a man does not love his wife or the wife does not love the man - and they still go on pretending that they love each other - it is nothing but prostitution, permanent prostitution. And the reason is just because of the children; otherwise, in the broken family, what will happen to the children?
In a commune there is no problem. You can be with a woman as long as you love her. The moment you find that the love has disappeared.. In life nothing is permanent, nothing can be permanent. It is not within your hands to make anything permanent; only dead things can be permanent. The more alive a thing is, the more fleeting.
Stones may be permanent.
Flowers cannot be.
Love is not a stone. It is a flower, and of a rare quality.
Today it is there, tomorrow one knows not - it may be there, it may not be there. It is not in your hands to control it. It is a happening. You cannot do anything: you cannot create it if it is not there; either it is there or it is not there. You are simply helpless.
If children are being taken care of by the commune, then parents can move easily. There is no burden. And the children will not miss you, because they can find their father, they can find their mother - there is no problem. The mother can go to the children, the father can go to the children.and the children will become aware from the very beginning that love is a changing phenomenon.
To make love permanent has been the greatest fallacy of mankind.
Love cannot become marriage. Marriage is law, and love cannot be put under any law. It is wild. It is just like a breeze that comes and goes away; fearing that it may go away, you close all the windows and all the doors - but then there is no breeze, just stale air.
Marriage is stale air and nothing else. The breeze that was felt - which led you to marriage - is not there anymore. But because of the children you have to pretend as long as possible - suffer, pretend. And it creates perversions of all kinds.
If the husband no longer loves the wife, he will start moving with some other woman - his secretary in the office. If the woman does not love the husband, naturally she will find somebody - the chauffeur. Ready-made people - the secretary, the chauffeur. What else to do? Where to go?