Chapter 14: Spiritual Pregnancy
Now, you had dreamed about freedom without ever thinking that great responsibility will follow. Freedom you have, but you have not fulfilled the responsibility. Hence, a sadness lingers around you. You are absolutely capable of destroying this sadness. If you were capable of destroying your slavery, your chains, you are certainly capable of being creative. If you were able to destroy prisons, you can certainly make, create something beautiful.
My own experience is: unless you become a creator in some way, your life will remain empty and sad. The only blissful people are the creators. It may be simply the creation of more consciousness, more experience of sachchidanand, more truth, more consciousness, more bliss. It may be simply an inner world of creativity or it may be something outer. But freedom has to become responsible, positive.
Your freedom is still negative. It is good that you are out of the prison, but it is not enough. Now you have to earn your bread. Up to now, they were supplying the bread. With the chains, they were supplying you a shelter, they were giving you clothes.
In American jails I asked many prisoners who were with me, “How long have you been here?” One young man was with me in the first prison. I asked him how long he had been in, because he was not more than twenty-five.
He said, “I was twelve when I was first brought to prison for selling drugs. But in prison, I found that I am free of all responsibility. Everything is supplied, medical care is available. No problem, no worries about tomorrows - from where the bread will be coming tomorrow. There is no worry. So since then, I have been coming again and again back to the prison. When they release me, I commit some small crime and I am back. And I love the place and I love the people. The first time I was afraid, but soon I found this is a better home.”
This is how people become jail-birds. He was absolutely happy. Everybody knew him - the doctor, the nurses, the jailer - and he was a nice person. He was very much interested in health. I watched him because there was nothing else except him to watch. As many times as he will find time from television.Otherwise, he was sitting before the television, and even watching the television he will start doing pushups. He was known as “the prince” by the other prisoners, because he was a nice person - no bad habits, nothing. He just found that the jail seems to be the most simple way of living. And I asked the nurses, “Why do you call him ‘the prince’?”
They said, “He wants the best clothes, and he fights for them and he gets them - because he is known to everybody. He wants the best food. He wants everything that is available for the prisoners. He does not allow anybody else to be his partner in the cell, because he has so many of his own things. One bed is for his sleep and on the other bed he has all kinds of things.
“He leaves those things with the nurses when he has to go out of the jail, and he says, ‘I will be coming within a week at the most, so keep my things.I will be coming.’ And within a week he is back, and the magistrates know and everybody knows that he will be coming back - there is no point to it.”