Chapter 25: Stealing the Truth
When you were responding to the question about whether the watcher is amused, I found I slipped into the space of a witness while looking into your eyes and felt a meeting happened. It was such a clear, cool meeting, and in comparison I saw how sticky, cumbersome and confining are any of the emotions I have ever felt for you and through which I thought I could meet you.
Once, in the Pune days, you said to us that you had to break our hearts. I thought then that you meant we and you could only meet if our hearts were totally and irrevocably yours; we could only meet if we fell into the deepest love possible.
But in this recent experience, love - and even trust - seemed not to be the bridge at all. Yet they play a vital part in the disciple-master relationship. Would you speak to us about this?
Love and trust certainly play a significant part in the relationship between the disciple and the master. But that is only a stepping stone. One has to go beyond it.
Love is beautiful, but not enough.
Trust is better, more grounded, more solid.
Love is emotional: trust is intuitive.
Emotions go on changing every moment - they are in a flux; you cannot rely upon them - but trust can become a great foundation. Love helps you to reach to the place where trust is possible. Without love, trust is not possible. Love is almost like a bridge which can collapse any moment but still it is a bridge. If you can use it, it can take you to trust; but without it, you cannot reach to trust directly. So love is a necessity, but unto itself, not enough. Its use is as a means; the end is the trust.
Just the way love functions as a means to trust, trust also functions as a means to something beyond, for which no word exists in any language - it is an experience. And this must have happened for a moment, looking into my eyes. It is not a question of love, not a question of trust, but something absolutely unknown to the mind. Love and trust help you to reach it. So remember, they are only means to an end for which no name exists but suddenly, when trust is total, you may have a glimpse of it. It is overpowering. In it you simply disappear.
Love needs two persons. Trust also needs two persons. Love has more distance between the lovers because it is something biological; it is not a privilege to human beings. Trust is a privilege. The distance becomes smaller. Between the master and the disciple there is very little distance, but distance is distance. Less or more, it divides: the duality remains.
The nameless phenomenon to which total trust leads is not a relationship. It is at-one-ment - the two disappear. Who is the disciple and who is the master is difficult to decide: it has become one circle, one pole. And it always comes without any pre-information: just suddenly, like a breeze. But once you have tasted it that love and trust all seem to be very poor, you have known richness. It may have been only for a few seconds, it does not matter.
There is an old story.