Chapter 9: Intrinsic Imperfection
I feel that whatever I do, even in beautiful things, there is always something missing, something that is somewhere out of tune. Even in my relationship - I have been now one year with my boyfriend - and still even in the beautiful moments I feel that something is tense somewhere, something is fighting somewhere..
You can make a problem out of it, and then there will be no solution. In the first place don’t make a problem out of it. It is not a problem. If you understand it well you will feel it to be a blessing.
Every lover feels that something is missing, because love is unfinished. It is a process, not a thing. Every lover is bound to feel that something is missing - but don’t interpret it wrongly. It simply shows that love in itself is a dynamic thing. It is just like a river, always moving, always moving. In the very movement is the life of the river. Once it stops it becomes a stagnant thing; then it is no longer a river. The very word river shows a process, the very sound of it gives you the feeling of movement.
Love is a river, it is not a thing, a commodity. So don’t think that something is missing; it is part of love’s process. And it is good that it is not completed. When something is missing you have to do something. That is a call from higher and higher peaks. Not that when you reach them you will feel fulfilled; love never feels fulfilled. It knows no fulfillment, but it is beautiful because then it is alive for ever and ever.
And you will always feel that something is not in tune. That too is natural, because when two persons are meeting, two different worlds are meeting. To expect that they will fit perfectly is to expect too much, is to expect the impossible, and that will create frustration. Something will always be out of tune. If you fit completely and there is nothing out of tune, the relationship will become stagnant. At the most there are a few moments when everything is in tune, rare moments. Even when they come you may not be able to catch them they are so swift, so rare. They have not come and they are already gone - just a glimpse. And that glimpse will make you more frustrated, because then you will see more and more that things are out of tune.
This is how it has to be. Make all efforts to make that in-tuneness, but always be ready if it doesn’t happen perfectly. And don’t be worried about it, otherwise you will fall more and more out of tune. It comes only when you are not worried about it. It happens only when you are not tense about it, when you are not even expecting it - just out of the blue. It is a grace, a gift of existence.
Love is not a thing you can do. But by doing other things, love will happen. There are small things you can do - sitting together, looking at the moon, listening to music - nothing directly to do with love.