Chapter 1: I Am Not a Man Who Plans
In that way, I am the first man not allowing my people to make me an object of any kind of projection. Many of them will feel hurt because of their expectations. It is a very complicated phenomenon; if I am a miracle man, then they are disciples of a miracle man. If I walk on water, then I am fulfilling their egos, too. And I am a totally different man - I would start drowning in the water! That would destroy their egos. And they would most probably run away from me, would never mention my name: that they were my followers, a man who drowned in the river.
Only people who are really ready to grow can remain with me. Thousands have come to me, but they all wanted some fulfillment of their egos from me. And that I cannot do. I cannot be a source of their retardedness, stupidity, superstition - no. Because I would not support them, they had to find some other master somewhere, who was ready to support them.
In fact, there have been moments when, without my knowing, they managed to project something. I came to know about it only later on. But the moment I knew it, I destroyed it completely.
A young man came one night. I had never seen him before; he was well educated. He told me, “My doctor has suggested coming to you and asking for a glass of water.”
I said, “But who is this doctor and why should he suggest me? Because I am not a doctor and I don’t treat patients.”
He said, “He told me that you would refuse, ‘But remain there, don’t leave.’”
It must have been nine o’clock at night. Until twelve he was sitting there in front of me. I said, “Okay, you can sit.” I continued my work, whatsoever I was reading.
I went on reading, and once in a while he would ask, “Why? I have to go four or five miles; my house is far away and my mother will be waiting.”
Because I was sick, my mother had come to visit me. She had gone to sleep, but seeing the light was on in my room and I was talking to somebody at twelve o’clock, she came out and asked what the matter was.
That young man just fell at my mother’s feet and he said, “Help me! I don’t want anything, just a glass of water.”
So my mother said, “Why don’t you give him a glass of water? And there is no problem in it, I will bring it.”
I said to her, “You don’t know. That glass of water can be very dangerous.”
She went in and brought a glass of water just to satisfy herself, otherwise she would get very upset: “What kind of compassion have you? He is simply asking for a glass of water. If it can help him, why should you hinder me?”
I gave it to the man, and as he drank the water, I could see his whole face changing. He touched his stomach and said, “My God, the pain has gone.”
He had been suffering from stomach pain for six months, and the doctor finally got fed up with him - because there was no pain, there was just something psychological. And the doctor knew me.