Chapter 5: The Diamond beyond Sex
The second level is psychological - of the mind, of the heart. For couples who fall in love and then get married, their experience of sex goes a little deeper than the physical level. Their sex is at the heart level; it reaches the psychological depth. But because of the repetitiveness, this also reverts to the physical level after a while and becomes mechanical. The institution of marriage that has developed in the West over the last two hundred years takes sex to the psychological level. And this is why the societies in the West are in a chaos.
The reason for this is that you cannot rely on the mind. Today the mind desires one thing; tomorrow it will ask for something else. It wants one thing in the morning and something else in the evening. What it feels now will be totally different from what it felt only moments ago.
You may have heard that Lord Byron, before he finally got married, had been intimate with at least sixty to seventy women. But even as he was coming out of the church after his wedding, arm-in-arm with his new bride, the church bells still ringing, candles still burning, the friends attending the marriage still there, he saw a beautiful woman passing by. He was transfixed by her beauty, and for a moment he forgot his new wife, his just solemnized wedding. But he must have been a very honest man, because as he got into the carriage with his bride he said to her, “Did you notice? A strange thing happened just now. Until yesterday, before we were married, I was worried as to whether I would really be able to catch you or not - you were the only woman on my mind - but now, when I actually am married to you, I just saw a pretty woman on the side of the road as we came down the church steps, and I forgot you for a moment. My mind started racing after that woman; a thought crossed my mind, ‘I wish I could have that woman!’”
The mind is so fickle. So those who wanted societies to be more orderly and stable did not allow sex to reach to the psychological level; they made an endeavor to halt it at the physical level. They said, “Go for marriage, not for love. If love grows out of marriage, fine; otherwise, be things as they may.”
Stability is possible on the physical level, on the psychological level it is very difficult. But the experience of sex is deeper on the psychological level, and therefore the experience of sex in the West has been more profound than in the East. Whatever the psychologists of the West, from Freud to Jung, have written about sex, relates to this psychological level of sex. But the sex I am talking about is of level three, which up to now has not been born in the East nor in the West. That third level of sex is of the spiritual level.
There is a kind of stability on the physical level because the body is material. There is also a kind of stability on the spiritual level, because on the level of spirit there simply is no change ever: all is calm there; all is eternal there. In between these two is the level of the mind where change exists. Mind is unsteady, mercurial. It changes fast.