Chapter 24: Feel Blissful and Thankful
But this is for you to decide. So for three days just think about it. You can be extraordinary(
I haven’t the qualities to be.
No question of qualities. Those people who have qualities don’t bother to be extraordinary. They are fully joyful in being ordinary. Only those people who don’t have qualities try to become extraordinary. The very idea shows that something is lacking. So drop the idea!
To be happy, no qualities are needed. You need not be a great painter or a great poet to be happy. An ordinary man with nothing special about him can be happy. Happiness has something else, some other base. Just being is to be happy.
I always tell you about myself with the possibility of being wrong, but you can see what is really the problem.
Nothing is the problem! You are still not seeing the point of how you are creating your misery. You have to see it. You can go on fooling around and avoiding it, but see it! If you are really fed up with it, this very moment it disappears. There is no need for any postponement.
Drop it! There is no method to it. You simply understand and just laugh, because the nonsense is finished, the nightmare over.
Over the past weeks my breathing has started to seize up; it just stops. I find that I become afraid, because it feels as if I am suffocating. It feels good - as if something is coming up that I should get into - but I’d just like reassurance that it’s normal.
Nothing is wrong, it is beautiful. Once you start enjoying it, you will see the beauty of it. It is a deep calmness. When the breath stops, everything stops; time and thinking too. But if you become afraid then everything starts again. So when the breath stops, remain silent and watch the gap that has come to you, the interval where no breath moves. In that interval, you will have the first glimpse of what meditation is.
But ordinarily everybody becomes scared and frightened, because we associate breath with life, and no breath with death. Because of that association, suddenly the fear of death arises, a fear that you are going to die.
You are going to die. In a greater life your small ripple is going to dissolve into the ocean, but that is not death - that is real life.