Chapter 11: Truth or Trick?
The memory remains. It is not being destroyed. Through meditation the mind is not destroyed. You simply start transcending it. It remains a storehouse; you need not live in it. If you live in it then you are mad. You need not live in a storehouse. When you need something, you go into the storehouse, bring that something out and use it. But a storehouse is not a living-room. But you have made it one. Your storehouse of memory has become your living room; you live there. Do not live there, that is the whole meaning. Be in the present and whenever the past is needed use it. But do not allow it to go on continuously overflooding you. That overflooding by the past makes your consciousness dim and dull. Then you cannot see with clear eyes, you cannot feel with a clear heart. Then nothing is clear, everything becomes confused.
Rather, on the contrary, when you are not identified with the mind you will have a very clear memory. You do not have a really good memory because you are not your master. Your mind is just a mad mechanism. When you need to remember something it will not come, and when you do not need it, it goes on coming: you are not the master. You cannot be the master if you become identified with the slave. If you become too much attached to the slave, the slave will start mastering you.
So if you die to the past you will not become less efficient in the functioning of your mind, you will become more efficient. A master is always more efficient. When he wants to remember, he remembers; when he doesn’t want to remember, he doesn’t remember. When he says to the mind, “Function,” it functions. When he says, “Stop,” the mind stops. I have to use memories. I have to talk to you: I have to use words, I have to use language. But only when I am talking to you do I use them. The moment I am not talking the mind stops. Then there is total vacuum - void. Then there is no cloud.
It is just like your legs: when you want to walk you use your legs. But if you go on moving them while just sitting or standing, people will think you are mad. Then you may say, “What can I do? My legs go on moving; I cannot do anything.” And if someone says to you, “Stop this,” you will say, “If I stop, then when I want to walk what will I do? I will become less efficient. If I stop, then I will lose the capacity to walk, so I have to use them constantly.” Remember, if you use them constantly, when the time comes to walk you will feel tired. You are already tired.
While sitting there is no need to use the legs. While not talking there is no need to use words. Do not verbalize within. While not using the past there is no need to allow it to flood you. Dying to the past means becoming master of your mind. Then you will be more efficient. But that efficiency will be of a different quality - a totally different quality. There will be no effort in it.
Now whenever you want to remember you have to make an effort because you are so tired; your brain is so tired, continuously working. There is no stop for it, no relaxation. Even while you are asleep the body is resting, but the mind continues to work. Dreaming, it is working - constantly working. It is a miracle that you are not mad. Or maybe you are already mad but you are not aware; or maybe, because everyone is mad like you, you cannot compare and you cannot know what is happening to you.